Thank you, thank you...my prayers have been answered.

WS phoned a bit ago but I missed his call. I called him back and said you looking for me. He said nope, didn't call you. I said okay...then I'll let you go. I showed my cell phone to our friend who was over at the house. Hmmm. There it was missed call guess he's been drinking again..he sounded pretty out of it. The phone rang again it was him.

He said that he was on medication from the doctor. OW grabbed the phone from him and said "I don't want him talking to you right now, he's not thinking clearly...he had a complete mental breakdown this afternoon for some reason and I had to take him to the doctor and we got him on some medication."

Thank you God...Thank you God!! It was the medication my Therapist had recommended. I thanked OW telling her it was the best news I had in 2mos. She said...well this time he did it on his own without you. I didn't say anything...all that matters to me is that he went for help. I care not how it was done.

Ten minutes later, he calls again. I teased him lovingly...are you calling me or not calling me? He said, I'm calling you, calling to tell you I'm on cloud 9. He kept repeating that. I said honey, just let the medicine work its magic. We're here, we all love you and you call me anytime you need anything, we're here for you.

Prayers have been answered. As I told my friend...I may not get him back...but it has always been my goal the past 2 mos to get his mental state back, quit the drinking and let him make his own decisions when he was of a good sound mind.

Tears of joy fall from my eyes tonight. Thank you Melody and Red Hat from the bottom of my heart.

He has quit drinking? What was this medicine?

Melody,

I am not sure of one of them, it started with a C and the other was Lexapro. Lexapro was what my Therapist had recommended for him. He was told no alcohol and he said he was not going to drink. He wanted to get better. I can only take him at his word. From what I understand the breakdown (according to OW) was pretty bad so they took him back to the Dr. at the rehab place we had sent him to.

It's dangerous to mix alcohol and ADs. How could that Dr. be sure he wasn't drinking? I wouldn't trust this info. from them. Sounds fishy.... I don't think a rehab dr. would have given an active drinker ADs. They may now be drinking and drugging....Going to a new Dr., saying I'm having a "breakdown" and not mentioning a history of drinking...

I can only hope that they were being honest with me. Again I don't know anything about OW other than she is an alcoholic. So your point now is well taken. I do know that he went back to where we had him taken in for observation. When he checked out he was referred for outpatient but didn't go according to him. They already had all the warrant information there at the hospital and had spoken with both his father and I so they were quite aware of his drinking and current mental state. Again, you have raised a valid concern. But why would they lie to me...oh good grief...please say the drama isn't continuing.

Clonopin, cymbalta? Both are used as anti-d's and anti-anxieties. The biggest problem with anti-d's and alcohol is that you may feel increased effects, but rarely will it turn you psychotic.

If he wants to be sure to not mix alcohol and the meds, ask the doc to give him something like antabuse at the same time, so that he has a choice: self medicate with the alcohol, or Rx medicate without the alcohol.

Trust me, been there. Good luck!

Thank you....it might have been clonopin. OW was in such hysterics when she talked to me that it was hard to understand her. She was obvious quite furious that he had been talking to me when she ripped the phone away from him and said let me talk to her. Phew...maybe her true colors are showing? Of course one can only hope. I do hope that the Dr read his reviews and the paperwork we filled out so that they knew what they were up against. I'll say a little prayer that he doesn't drink.

Thank you!!

The Clonopin/Lexapro combo is powerful--should see some results if his issues are organic (i.e. his natural brain chemistry is out of whack). If it interests you to find out more, check both drugs out on the www. Try googleing both, check their homepages, and read an anecdotal stuff on the first few search pages. Good idea to know what kind of side effects to keep a watch for (again, only if this is part of your Plan A/B.) If your plan is to step out, then don't worry until he hits the bottom and comes back, I guess. I'll send positive thoughts to you!

When you have time ... pick up a copy of "Love must be tough" by Dobson and read it.

Meanwhile take a good care of yourself. This roller coaster is just began.

-rh-

Red Hat...you aren't kidding...the rollercoaster ride has already started. He's been calling and calling and harrassing me all day long. We talked once and he was angry that I would not give him my computer. I said that I needed it at the shop. Now he's calling and calling even though I said I would not be home this evening.

I spoke to his father today and there is something fishy going on regarding the drugs yesterday. Within a one hour time frame of when his dad talked to him and I talked to him he was able to get to a Doctors office and get the drugs and somehow pay for them when neither of them had money. So we haven't a clue how he was able to pull this off. But today he was definitely back to the cranky WS. When his dad talked to him today he never mentioned going back to the Dr for medicine. Never even mentioned taking anything to him.

But since he is calling and harrassing me at this time instead of playing nice like yesterday...I need to leave him be for MY sanity.

And to reassure everyone...I have been definitely talked out of making the car payment for him. His dad said let the car go....let it go. So I have to stand by his father's decision on that.

Many docs will provide a week or so worth of free samples, if the drug is relatively new or under long patent. Both Lexapro and Clonopin have those little "bimbos" that travel from office to office dropping of free samples (of whatever).
That's an interesting digression, if anyone wants to pursue--I've been seeing a lot of military folks here, but am yet to hear about the ubiquitous drug reps who seem to show up as the OW in countless marriages to docs. Sorry, back to topic...
If it's important to you, you might want to set an appointment with his doc, just to provide background. HIPPA rules will make this a one-way discussion, as the doc cannot go back to you with any info, but it might help provide doc with the info he needs to write good scripts. Good luck!

Lisa,

Hang in there. You have to be strong ... it is tough love after all. You should talk to your therapist if you need AD yourself.

I know it is hard but you might want to take this opportunity to learn some boundary-setting. If he disrepect you on the phone, you could told him that you can't talk to him like this ... ask him to call you later then hung up the phone.

It is not about being nice ... it is about letting him know that you are there if he choose to be H, get clean and fix the M. It is about giving him a better choice than where he is right now.

-rh-

This afternoon I will be dropping off the rest of his belongings along with my letter to a mutual friend that I trust to give him the letter. After speaking with my therapist we feel that in light of yesterday it is best for me to now stand my ground indicating my boundaries etc. The letter was short, sweet and to the point. He knew I had plans last night and continued to call and call and call all night. He said some pretty hateful things yesterday trying to stir up trouble again with our friends.

While I love this man, I am tired of being pulled constantly onto this rollercoaster with him. This wasn't my ride this is his ride. I'm getting off and if he chooses to, great. But I can't let myself go down with him. I am here if he shows that he is willing to work on himself but I cannot sit and watch him selfdestruct and try to take me down with him.

Thank you everyone and I'll keep you posted.