Gosh,
Basic rundown, and by the way all here are great people <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
4 month's ago I found out my W has run up 38K of credit card debt (I lost trust) then I find out she's out flirting with guys. 5 weeks ago she started an affair (Still going on) She won't leave our home (she says why should she) I can't afford to leave and still pay the mortgage. Life Is pretty much unbearable right now.
Last night, I flipped out and called her a SLUT, It was in the garage (away from kids, but unfortunately my 9 yr old son over heard) She called the police, and I had to leave <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Now her attourney Is threatening a restraining order. I am sooooo sad. I feel I have been totaly manipulated. She wants me to loose the home. Then she can move in with her lover, and take my son with her (60 miles away)
I try to be strong I need to be here for my son, but she Is clear headed and I am in a fog, I feel I am being led down a path that I don't want to take. God help me! She is able to laugh and enjoy her life. I can't eat or sleep, I am lost.

Life is certainly anything but fair. So sorry for your pain and all the confusion that comes with it. It sounds like you are being manipulated and that she is one SICK woman. Try to remain calm and think of your son's well-being to keep you that way. I understand how your anger and hurt might cause you to want to lash out at her but try to realize how sick she must be to do such things.

I found out about my WH's A in the garage...I hate it now. I think that a therapist would be the best safe haven for you right now....find one quick! I would think she'll eventually crash and burn so in the meantime, do whatever you can to take care of yourself and your son. Depending on how you feel about the relationship, perhaps keeping as much distance between the two of you right now would be best. Although you think she is clear-headed, that is highly unlikely and you need to be strong and keep control of your emotions when dealing with her so that if it does come down to someone moving and your son being with one of you that it ends up being your WW that moves away but you that has your son. No judge could view your WW's behaviour in any favorable light!

Be strong! You can do it!

Thank you!
I am seeing a therapist and actualy have an appointment for this evening. You are absoluotely right I need to try to take control of my life, It's all the things going on. I feel soo bad for my son, my wife Is doing everything to spoil him. I am doing everything tokeep things normal (chores / bedtime etc)
Only It back fires on me, he want's to be with mom because she's more fun and let's him stay up till 12 etc

OK I'm quite sure I'm going to get hit with a restraining order. I went home and found a list she had made with all likely addresses where I might be today. Things don't look good right now - I have never nor will ever threatened or shown any act of violence. I purely called her a slut. She is now trying to use this to get ALL her own way.

Dude,

Calm down!! Take some deep breaths.

You may want to look into Anti-deprssnts. They will ease your emotional outbursts, which are causing your problems..besides her of course.

I don't see why calling your wife a name would warrent a restraining order. And how can there be a restraining order if you both live in the same house??

If you think this is a possibility though, you must defend yourself and get your own attorny.

Does she still have the credit cards??

Again...try to relax, calm down and ease off the throttle. Your mind is going the speed of sound!!

Keep posting here or go to the general questions section, that is where everyone congregates. Ask what can and cannot be done with a restraining order.

Stay strong!

k

Immediately contact an attorney to protect yourself. The fact that apparently she has an attorney and you do not makes you a sitting duck. Don't be stupid. You have to legally protect yourself now!

I do have an attourney, unfortunately my STBX is a liar and a cheat. I am afraid that she will concoct something

Mntony,

OK, now she is your STBX!! Alot has happened in a day!

You are not SLOWING DOWN!! Would you please look into Anti-deprssnts? It sounds like you are spinning way out of control.

How did it go with your therapist last night?

k

Krusht,
Thank's Your right, I have slowed down ( I wont take Anti deppresants yet) A lot has happened to me In 4 month's bankrupcy (to be filed) 3 weeks A, Sometimes It just overwhelms me. The therapist and I talked and at this point It's no use to carry on Marriage counselling while WS is having A. She Is adamant about divorce and wishes to push as fast as possible, to then move in with OP. I do not recognise her (a true alien) I am realy concerned about my son. I do not want to leave the house and him, especialy when she frequently dissapears to be with OP. I have offered 2K for her to find another place even for a while, but her attorney is telling her not to accept. So meanwhile we live together, although she does nothing in the house not dishes/meals/nothing. It Is so strange when someone you have spent 12yrs with can be laughing and going out having fun (not a care in the world) but when she talks to me It's cold and heartless. I am coping better though sleeping more now It's 4/5 hrs, and forcing myself to eat. I spend more time with my 9 yr old son (but not to smother) I still want him playing with friends. He is such a welcome break from the agony, and helps me normalise my life.