I called WH Mom just now.......I feel so much better for the moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She is very supportive of me. I explained to her that we had been having problems and that we had been going to MC. She asked if we were working things out.....I said we were trying, but that WH was having an A. I told her that I had helped to create the atmosphere for an A & told her that I had been angry about some things and have realized and am seeking treatment for a physical condition that I have.

I told her that I loved WH and I wanted to work things out. She said I had two big people on her side(she & her H) I wish she lived closer, but they are 11 hours away.

Her plan is to try to call WH sometime tomorrow and talk with him. I told her that WH would be furious with me for calling, but I was prepared for that. She said she would try to get around that somehow.......I told her that was o.k.

She knows that it is work related and is going to help me out with getting him to get transferred....

I have two left. Contact OWH again and the workplace. His boss is in from midnight to 10 AM. I tried calling several times this morning, but always got a voice mail.

I am thinking of sending an e-mail and then waking up to call later on.......WH is OW's supervisor although techincall OW is an independent contractor. So her boss already knows! What a hoot, I don't have to expose to her boss.

Should I send the e-mail???

I will take care of the 3rd OWH.

I am tired of driving to work and crying every day.

Kimberly
D-Day, May 14th
DS, age 5
was in No contact until last Sunday.......lasted 1 week 1/2??
Married 13 years

Kim, good job! I would plan on calling OWH and her boss tomorrow before your MIL calls your H. You want it all to hit at the same time so you have one cleanup instead of several.

Its also important that you tell OWH everything you know. He has a RIGHT to know everything you know, ok? That is the purpose of calling him, to tell him the affair is still ongoing and to inform him of continued contact.


I don't understand. Who will you expose to at her work and his work then?

Thanks ML!! It wasn't so bad after all.

I will tell WH's supervisor who is over both of them (WH & OW....WH's company does pay her)------I am afraid if I wait until the morning, I won't be able to reach WH's supervisor.

What are your thoughts on e-mailing???? I'd rather call though b/c I think that is more effective. I think he is hardly at his desk.

Kim

Kim, Just jumping in. I'm going through much the same thing. No I would not email. Do not leave any evidence that can be printed,forwarded or archived. Most companys have a policy that your email is work related and they can access it at anytime even if it has been deleted.
Think about what information you need to give him, write it down so you don't miss any points and call.
Faith

I agree with Faith, call the man up! Inform him and ask him what he intends on doing to bust it up. Ask him if you need to contact HR in order to make that happen. That will ensure that he knows you are not going to stop with just him, that you expect something to be done about it, ie: seperation.

Can you call the OWH tonight also?

Faith,

That's a good point. But I would e-mail from home?? The e-mail would be work related to the supervisor b/c it is a work related A??

Welcome here, sorry you have to be here.......

Kim

I will call instead. Writing down what I need to say is excellent. Otherwise, I know I will just fumble along without communicating what I desire.......

My WH is going to be so mad.

I'm on EST, so it is late here.......don't think I can call OWH tonight....

Kim

I am so afraid that I have LB too much the past couple of days. I have not been that upbeat either so I don't know what kind of effect this going to have on our R.

Kim

I think it is going to definitely be bad for a couple of days. But if the plan goes the way you guys say, he will get over it right??

Kim

Exposure will have a GREAT EFFECT on the affair. It will either end it or will hasten its end. And your R doesn't have a CHANCE until the affair ends. That is the important thing. Now is not the time to go wobbly again, Kim.

Yes, what he won't get over is this affair if you don't do everything in your power to bust it up. Just take a deep breath and move forward with confidence, Kim. You are doing the right thing.

You cannot afford to engage your fear of his anger right now. THIS IS NOT THE TIME! You should be more afraid of losing your marriage to an affair if you don't stop it.

Kim, it will be tough, but you have many friends here who will help you through this!

I know....Here I go again thinking too much. I will try to wake up tonight & call the supervisor.....

You know what WH said to me the other day when he found out I was planning on calling OWH. He said: What good came out of you contacting him last time???

I didn't respond b/c I did know a lot of good came out of that. It was good for me, but not good for OW & WH.

Kim

Thanks MelodyLane! By the way, where is LemonMan lately??

I so appreciate all of your support & patience with me!! How do you find the time to help us all????? You always respond to me when I post & I know you are helping so many others here...

I will so need you guys when WH finds out. & this time I am not going to tell him first.

Kim