I’m going to tell you a story:
1st a little back ground: Aug. 03, I get a phone message stating my husband of 21 years is having
an affair with the HR Director at work. They traveled every week together and I was always
assured nothing was going on. Me thinking I’m the wind beneath his wings believes every word
he tells me.
Life is rocking through the winter of 04 H doesn’t come home until late at night. Won’t talk to
me won’t go to counseling and says he needs time to figure things out. May 04 final truth comes
out he’s sleeping with her.. I lose 40 pounds. He’s still on the fence.. Can’t decide what to do..
I’m accused of doing horrible things .moves out 4 times the final being Thanksgiving weekend.. I
spend holidays crying begging him to come home give us a chance... be a family... I’m a mess,
not much fun to be around.. Found MB to late but it got me through some really rough evenings.
Feb. 05 I file for divorce... everyone here says if you don’t want it don’t file... well I didn’t want
it, but I also didn’t want to go on living like this... at this time H. won’t even tell the children (20,
18, 14) or myself where he is living. (Come to find out it’s right in our town, less then 2 minutes
from home but yet can’t even take the kids to dinner) I had him served at work... much to his
embarrassment, oh well....
Now here’s where the story changes: Finally in and around January I decided I couldn’t just stay
home and cry anymore... he certainly wasn’t. I pulled myself up by the boat straps as they say and
went out... alone...found everywhere I went there were interesting people to talk to. I made
friends every where I went. I had a few taverns( bars) that I was comfortable going into alone..
One a friend owns another just right in town so I felt safe... I was amazed to find so many lonely
people just like myself and have added to my list of friends tenfold. I had dinner with a couple of
men(meeting them at restaurant, having own car.. etc..) They didn’t go well.. Oh well
In April of this year I decided to go to a club meeting of which H and I belonged to. We never
attended the meetings before.. but hey way not..a acquaintance of ours came up and asked where
my H was... I explained he didn’t want to play anymore and I had filed for D. by the end of the
evening he asked me out for dinner...we went the following Saturday... hit it off so well, and have
been together ever since... I’m happy.. I didn’t know this was the way I should have been treated
all through my marriage. I have kept no secrets from my children they like the guy.. They see I’m
happy... they see the way he treats me and treats them.. He’ll sit and BS with them for hours...
cooks wonderful meals for us, and treats them like human beings... something their own father
has neglected to do recently...I see my life going forward, I got off AD’s I’m loving life... being
with this man has made such a difference in my life it’s amazing...he’s been divorce for many
years..he’s wonderful plain and simple.. I have even introduced him to my sisters in law and my
mother in law. They like him, he fits right in. And yes while they would like to see their
brother/son and I be together they realize he’s to far gone for any of it.
So my daughter asks her father what he’s intentions are: he explains that the women he gave up
his whole family for can’t decide if she wants to leave her husband ( she hasn’t been able to
decide for two years now) or not. Does not want to met the children nor his mother nor his
sisters. Does not share the same hobbies as H and when its convenient for her she likes him to do
what she wants when she wants..she’s a snob and H is learning how to be one too...
So now while the tables have turned and he’s sitting waiting for her, I have found true happiness.
I know it’s not MB’s way of doing things. But I just wanted to tell my story and give others hope
that when you finally hit rock bottom and you’ll know when you do.. Pick yourself up and tell
yourself.. I’m better then this I don’t deserve this and I respect myself too much to put up with
anymore of this.
My only regret is that H never once wanted to give us a chance... now all he’s chances are gone.