I've been so strong lately but today I'm falling apart. I found out that my STBX and his family are going behind my back and documenting EVERYTHING I do so that can go to court and prove that I'm an unfit mother. :-( Now, I know that I'm a great mom and so do all of my family and friends but it just really hurts that this family is trying to ruin me when I did nothing wrong to any of them. How can they do this to me? I'm so hurt! I'm very hurt that my STBX would even try to do that to me....he knows how much I love being a mom and having our son. My son has always been my life. I just don't understnad!!!! My mediation is coming up on the 31st and I'm also scared about that. I don't want to lose my home. I just feel extremely overwhelmed right now. I need some words of encouragement.

Though I can't predict the future, I hope things go well for you. It may not be as bad as you think. Ususally things work out. Have some hope, and lets see what happens.

SS

I'm sure you have your own documentation - the insane e-mails - the hateful actions while quoting scripture, etc.?

Have your attorney sort out what is usable leverage. He has more to fear from you than you have to fear from him.

StillSeeking and KaylaAndy...I hope you are right! I don't know why I'm falling apart all of a sudden. I guess the pain just never goes away from all of this. I can only hope and pray that they will all get what they deserve!!!

Tree - I just found out something very similar. I want so bad to be able to talk about it on here but I can't because my ex reads here to find anything he can use against me.

I would really love to have someone to talk to about this stuff who is going through the same kinds of things.

If you have a chance, please email me at roseandgrace@hotmail.com

Tree,

He is not going to be able to take your son away from you. It just isn't going to happen, it is so extremely hard to do. There needs to be much, much lax on your part, and even abuse.

A friend of mine tried for twelve years to take his son away from his ex (drugs, men, alcohol, abuse) and finally was only able to get his son during the school year.

My ex got 50/50 because I agreed to it. You're ex might be able to get 50/50 (even that is highly doubtful) but he cannot prove you unfit.

Nine years with you, in your loving home and a judge will not lightly change that.

Stay strong Tree, and have faith in yourself.

faithhopelove04...I sent you an email...

weaver....deep down I know he can't take my son away from me but it really hurts. I just can't seem to make myslef feel better today. I'm usually able to cheer myself up but I am so down today. I've been crying all afternoon and night. This is so hard.

For a start, you might change your tag line. It's bound to increase maudlin feelings and self-pity.

This does sound like a bluff. What on earth could they get on you?

I'd view it as a phase. An attempt to draw you back into the drama. Things were probably more fun when you were a common enemy. Don't let it trip you up.

Tree - I can't understand why you are surprised. You know how his family is. You know that he has no honor. What else did you expect?

Tree,
sounds to me like this is just Jedi mind tricks they are playing. Dont respond and recognize it for what it is. If he can keep you freaking, he can exploit weaknesses. Dont fall for it. Stay strong. Stay resolved. Have a quiet confidence about you that comes from faith in the good Lord. You will be fine. Remember, God provides for even the sparrows of the world. Are you not greater in His eyes than the sparrows? (Cant remember what specific scripture that is from, but its in there!)

I think it’s necessary to untangle the issues that are hurting you so much so that everything is less convoluted. Two things are happening: One is that the security of keeping your son has been threatened, and the other is that people you once loved and trusted are maliciously ganging up on you.

I tend to agree with all the previous posters who believe you have nothing to worry about when it comes to losing your son. You are a good mother who loves him dearly and no judge is going to violate that bond. If you can believe this, then half the weight of this crisis has already been lifted off your shoulders.

It must really hurt that your STBX and his family would stoop so low as to try and undermine your motherhood in a cynical plot to break the bond between you and your son. Though they will not succeed, I understand that their malicious motivations are enough to wound you deeply. I suspect that this other half of the problem is what is really eating you up.

Try and focus your attention only on that which is within your control. Continue to be a great mom and love your son as you always have. Live your life always doing what is right. As for things you have no control over, adapt the best you can and don’t let them get to you (easier said than done, I know). Worrying about the rain will never make the water stop pouring from the sky. But the power to open an umbrella to shield yourself from getting drenched is entirely yours.

Let your STBX and his family be the ones to lose sleep as they stress over how to devise their futile plot. Let them be the ones to stew in anger when the judge tells them to get out of his/her courtroom. Angry, spiteful people are not happy. In the end they will have done more damage to themselves than to you.

Let the people who plot against you be like the rain. You can not control their actions nor understand their hurtful motivations, so don’t waist your energy trying. Let the love for your son and the love of the Lord be your umbrella. Relish in these good things and surrender the rest to God. I know this is not easy as I am trying desperately to follow my own advice with respect to my own rotten situation, but deep down I know it’s true.

You are in my prayers. God bless you.