WS business partner gave him the rest of the stuff he asked for along with the letter and made him read it right there. He said why doesn't she want to talk to me...read the letter again then if you don't get it. Well he called and I let it go to voice mail. He said he understood I was in pain but that he wanted the rest of his stuff. He thanked me for all that I had done but once again he wanted the rest of his stuff...funny, I brought him everything he asked for the other night. He asked for no more than that. He said he didn't want me going through his father but to call him when I was ready to discuss things and that he never asked me for money....(uh yes you did, but never mind). (He doesn't know that his dad and I talk a couple of times a week) My best friend listened to the voice mail and said well for one thing you can tell he's drunk and secondly he's awfully cocky on that message.

The stage has been set...I have now left the stage. I met all of our mutual friends this evening and told them I was done with the drama unless he made any future threats against me or my family his name was not to be mentioned around me. They all agreed because once again he's been caught in his recent lies/dillusions but that's their lives and their choice and I told them to do whatever they felt best for them not to base decisions on mine. I had to do this for my sanity.

Tomorrow I have lunch with an old friend that I had to give up because of WS. It will be my first attempt at making ammends and moving forward with my life and catching up on what I have missed.

Red Hat...read Love Must be Tough today...great book. Thank you. I am satisfied in my decision here with this letter. I did leave the door open if he left her and gave up the alcohol and self-destruction mode that he was in and went for help and stayed with a program.

It's all out of my control now but I took back control of my life and for that I am thankful...I feel very much at peace with myself right now.

Lisa,

There is no right or wrong decision ... only decision you could live with.

Yes, you need to protect yourself.

Please stay away from any man right now. You need time to grief. You are still in 'coaster, just because you have made the decision it doesn't mean you are done with it. If you want to amend yourself ... you should take time to reflect what just happening in the past 5 years.

-rh-

Thanks Red Hat...actually this is my old horse trainer. I had been riding for years before I met EX and my trainer was also a good friend. But EX was threatened by our friendship and always very jealous of him because he had a very successful business etc. I ended up selling my horse and gave up riding to make EX more secure. But now I can get back into riding and have a friend again, outside our current circle. Something I need now.

Yes, it is definitely a decision that I can live with. My sanity is more important to me right now than worrying about him and his self-destruction. His voicemail clarified the absolute madness in him right now. He is best left alone. The letter made it quite clear if he was willing to leave it all behind and seek help I would be there to help him and only then.