Hey everyone,

Sorry for the long post...I am reposting the previous 2 posts again after this short message with some questions in hopes of a response today. Same questions still wander through my head. I had dinner with her lastnight and we had a great time but she is still going away for the weekend (read posts below) which makes it hard for me to enjoy the time I have with her. I am working my plan A but I am affraid I am missing something. THe A has been exposed to family and friends (actually one friend who now doesn't talk to her because WS is "thinking" about ending affair working on marriage). She really isn't hiding the affair at all. But the OM works as a DJ for a local Radio Sta. and his friends and co-workers are none the wiser. I have not spoken to him at all through this but I am considering calling him in hopes it will get him to back off. Is this a good Idea?...my fear is that it will get back to her and have the opposite affect. My mother in-law has also offered to speak with him and ask him the same. I want her to be at home with me on the weekends not out being single and running around with him. Any way the posts are below...thank you in advance for your support.

Having a very hard time dealing with all of this today...ww had me come to house to watch kids for a couple of hours last night so she could go to store. I went to the house and she acts like nothing is wrong accept she is distant. She calls a couple of times and one of them she says how she is tired and her back and feet hurt. I tell her that when she comes home if she is up to is well have a glass of wine do a hot tub and I would rub her back. She acts like she doesn't know if she wants to and we get cut off. She text messages me to say we'll talk when she gets home. she shows up 3 hours later and comes in to the house again like nothing is wrong...I am trying hard not to act that way myself. SHe sits on the couch next to me and we watch tv. I ask if she wants a foot rub and she says yes. we watch tv for about an hour and I get up to go have a smoke. she joins me and says that she is tired and wants to put kids to bed and go to sleep I gather my things and go. about an hour later she calls to say goodnight but the conversation continues like she doesn't wnat to get off the phone. We finally say goodnight and I go to bed feeling good. THins morning I don't call her I wait to see if she will call. she does but is looking for money to pay bills. I tell her that as soon as I get my check we will take care of it.

All of this is after the OM had dinner with her and my kids 2 nights ago. She called me after that and then called him after she spoke to me to say goodnight. I have spoken to her mother who is very supportive of us getting back together. Her mother believes that she is just affraid of telling him that she wants to work on our marriage. She tells me she just can't make a decision on what she wants (me or him) that she doesn't want to get hurt again. Her mother tells me that she is afraid of hurting him and afraid of hurting me. But her mother also believes (she has spoke to OM) that he doesn't want to get into the middle of this and doesn't want to be the reason a family breaks up and that he will probably eventually back off on his own. Should I contact OM and ask him to leave us alone to back off and let us see where we can go with our marriage. He continues to buy my kids gifts (CD's and concert tickets that he takes WS and my kids to) How do I react to that. I feel like she is slowly comming back but then he does something or comes around and we are right back to square one. WHat do I say or do to get him out of the Picture and in a NC State? What do I do as my WS has been telling me she doesn't know if she wants to try? How do I ask her to not have any contact with OM?

Lots of things on my mind today...thank you in advance for listening.

R.