WS's mom called him yesterday after I exposed the affair to her the night before. WS didn't say anything to me about it until we were in bed. No Anger, No Questioning from him. He just said that she called & talked. I said "Oh?" He said "Yeah, she said you called her last night. It gave me a chance to ask her about what happened when she & my Dad divorced."

That was it. I didn't pry, but left it open for him to tell me about the conversation if he wanted. No explosions.
Hmmmm.......

He then said "I know you called OWH last Sunday. I found his number on your cell phone bill." I HAD ERASED THE NUMBER FROM MY PHONE, HE IS NOW CHECKING UP ON MY CALLS ON-LINE!!!!!!! Now he's snooping. So I got questioned again about did I talk to him & why I wanted to call him.

Today we get up & see DS off to school. I come in & we make small talk about plans for the day. He tears up & I ask him what's wrong. He said he guessed that he was depressed & went over to sit down. I walked over & touched his arm to try to comfort him. He started to cry more.

I tried to figure out why he was depressed ----does he feel bad for what he's done? or is it withdrawal from OW. I have no idea.

To cheer him up we got out of the house and went bowling. After we had a bite to eat & headed to our MC session. Tried to have a good time.....& I think we had an "o.k" time....

MC session today left us both feeling awful. She wanted us to talk about the pain each of us went through prior to the A starting, what led up to it. She really pushed the SF issue with me & it made me feel so guilty. WS said that it felt like we were back to the first time we went in.

Again, I am seriously considering contacting Stever Harley.

WS said that the passion had been gone for a long time. Then on the way home, he said that he thought that was always a little "off" in our M all along. OUCH. I know that's not true. I definitely remember some passion.

Then he said that if he had it to do all over again, he most likelly would not marry me again. That he thinks that there is something out there better.

He "has a good time with me." "I don't want to hurt you." "You are such a good woman." "I am going to end up alone."

Later he told me that he was so sad this morning b/c he didn't want to miss things like seeing DS off to school and seeing me. And that OW was avoiding him and they weren't talking.

He left me a note the night before b/c I had packaged some cookes for him to take to work saying "Thank you for the cookies, that was very thoughtful. I love you, WH"

I can't understand all of this back & forth WS mess. One day he tells me he loves me, the next he says there was never passion & in the back of my head there is something better out there.

Please help me make sense of this. Is this normal WS babble? We were both in so much pain for quite some time before the A. Is it ever too late?

Does WS have to forgive me for the pain I caused before the A before he can work on our M?

We had an emotional day. I felt so hurt by his comments. I wish I could reverse babble ..........

Thanks,

Kimberly
D-Day, May 14th
DS, age 5
Married 13 years

Hope you will hang in there longer. You are at least talking about things, even though your husband seems a bit foggy still.

Ignore his comments about there being something "better" out there - that is just babble. The two of you have a history together and a child.

I think it may be good to work through the issues you had pre-A with your counselor. It's kind of like phyical therapy - you feel worse right before you get better.

Its ok if he asks questions. And you can give him answers. You aren't the one with something to hide. But I hope that you are also giving the OWH "answers," in addition to the boss, so that this affair can be ended.

Counseling is a waste of time as long as the affair is ongoing.