I made it through the first 24 hours of Plan B letter. Have been reading a great deal on here...so many posts felt so close to home. I loved Orchid's Reverse Babble. I'm thinking of how to apply it to my situation.

No incidents other than his drunken phone call after he got the letter. Since we were to be married this fall I guess he will be referred to as WF from this point forward.

WF had his best friend call for the remainder of his stuff. LOL. If you want to go up in the attic right now, you have my blessing...it's too hot and I have no clue what it is he thinks he has up there.

Spoke to his father for an hour yesterday. He agrees that we need to close the door and follow through on tough love. His dad told me to call 911 if he does anything stupid or shows up and not to be afraid to put either WF or OW in jail. After his conversations with OW he calls her the devil incarnate. LOL!! WF used to call his folks once a day when we were together and they haven't heard from him in several days so his dad knows he is still drinking. His exbusiness partner smelled booze on him when he came to get his stuff. So who knows what happened to the medication he was taking.

Trying to get WF friends to follow through on tough love is a whole different story. One day they are behind it then he calls them and they feel sorry for him. I wonder is there any book I can have them read to give them insight on his self-destruction with alcohol? I don't think Dobson's Tough Love would apply to them.

Yesterday he and OW were supposed to go and apply for food stamps. He's also trying to get a loan so he can open up a beauty salon for her. It is admirable for him to try to do this. He also seems to think he's getting his grandma's house in Tulsa when she passes on...dad says nope just more dillusions...I guess OW will have to start working more than 2 days a week then since he says she's going to make him rich. He's still refusing to go get a job that requires him to work for someone else. He can't seem to get out of bed before 1pm these past couple of months.

The business he had with business partner is really taking off now that he is out of it. Funny how that works.

Today I am working on the finishing touches for the store. Hopefully can move into in FINALLY the Tuesday after Labor Day. Sad that he isn't here to realize our dream together. But at least I am still making it come true, for me.

Sadie,

U see the gap widening between you and the WS? Not your H, just with the WS. That's why it is critical for you to stick to your plan.

Just wanted to send my support from way out in the big blue. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Aloha,
L.

Really dumb question...what is "H"?

Thank you Orchid for your support...I really need all the support I can get right now!!

Sadie,

I apologize. 'H' stands for husband. There's a link in the Just Found Out section which shows the abbreviations.

L.

Orchid...they are not married. This was a live-in.

Thank you Orchid for clarifying...We were engaged to be married this fall...not husband yet.

Definitely sticking to the plan. It's the only choice I have at this point for my sanity.

He's done everything he could to try and hurt me. He told me he was from day one when this whole A started. He told me that I was going to have to live with this the rest of my life and that we would get back together one day if we both found we were miserable. He told me to move forward with my life but each time I showed him that I was capable he would get angry with me and start things. He was angry and hurt that I had thrown him out because of his drinking. So he keeps trying to push my buttons and gets furious when it doesn't work. It's taken every bit of my strength to not lose it and to keep face through out it all.

Well a WS is still a totally different character from anything human! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> H or fiance' is still the opposite of a WS. The plan stands.

BTW since you are not married, more is in your favor. You really are not tied to this guy....yet. Think twice about whether you want t/b.

IMHO,
L.

Just an update since it's been a week since Plan B went into effect. I have not had any communication with him directly.

He's been going through his exbusiness partner and friends trying to come in through the back door. His grandma passed away on Wednesday. He's been calling his dad and calling his dad...dad would not take his phone calls. After a couple of days he finally did and told WF that he had no time for any of his nonsense at this time and what did he want...was he still drinking. Of course he lied and said he hadn't.

He told his dad that our friends were going to GIVE him 100k to start a business up and that he was going to be flying all over the country selling. His father already knew the truth but played along with it. Our friends have all taken the stand against him until he sobers up.

He phoned his exbusiness partner last night and she wouldn't talk to him but her husband asked what he wanted and he said I have no friends and don't know who to trust right now...I just need her to call me. She didn't return his call either.

The friends that WF were hoping would give him money agreed to meet with him. They were going to tell him that they had no intent on loaning/giving him any money and he was no longer welcome in our circle of friends until he cleaned up.

He called them last night to cancel the meeting telling them he was having cars repossessed left and right and that his grandma had passed away and he just wasn't in the mood to meet.

Funny, I had wondered why I hadn't seen OW car at the salon the past week. Guess her car got repossessed by her exhusband before WFs car got repossessed. His car should be gone next week. It just gets more interesting day by day around here. I've been good, working, going to therapy and finally the drama has calmed down around here. I'm almost at peace..except it hurts knowing that when his car gets taken I will be out the several thousand that I had put into it...oh well.

Orchid, I do not know if I would take him back at this point. I do love him, but not the man he has become. The road for him to come back to that man is a very long and winding road. He may just be as content as can be living in the gutter with this woman. I know his dad keeps telling me that eventually he will see the light and realize what he has done...but will I be around, that is the question. I've already postponed the wedding indefinitely.