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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 107 |
W and I have been separated for almost a year. See previous posts for my story.
Last summer, we tried MC but it ended after 2 sessions and lots of blame from both of us. Our lives have been shattered ever since. Bad relations on both sides. We have 3 kids and just passed our 9th anniversary.
She finally agreed to MC together. Problem is, I know she wants to work this out, but she feels all the problems stem from myself. I also feel many of the issues stem from her. Where do you meet?
My plan is to let her talk and just listen. Last time I tried to rationalize our relationship, it ended in disaster.
No affairs here. Just miscommunication and dysfunction. Anyone else been in this situation? We both want to make our marriage work again.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 183
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 183 |
i'm a mess too, but you have to take responsibility for what you've done. If you don't, then it won't work. You can only control your life, you can't change her behavior to make yourself feel better. You have to change YOUR behavior to make YOURSELF feel better. the nice benefit is that it does enhance the relationship, but you also can't get bitter than she's done nothing to change and you have. Do it for yourself.
pretty confused
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863 |
The best thing you can do is LISTEN. Listen, not talk. Let your wife vent, then give her her own words back in another way so that she knows you heard her.
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