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I remember someone here said they beat up OM twice.
What happened if you did indeed beat up OM?
Were the Police called in?
Any charges filed? What was the outcome?
How bad did you beat up OM?
Was he able to walk away?
Why did you do it?
What instigated the fight?
Was it worth it?
How did the wife react?
If you're a Liberal please don't respond. I already know your answer.
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As I've mentioned so many other times... there would be nothing more satisfying then to pummel the [censored] out of the OM. But, I gave my word to Undo I would not hunt the [email]f@#ker[/email] down. But, I am up for burying him up to his neck and throwing some fire ants his way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Hopeful4future
The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.
BS: 40 (Me)
xFWW: 50
Married: 9/97
PA: 3 months
D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me)
Divorced: 10/2/2008
Happy that I've moved on
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Ah yes fav fantasy, but hes 3000 km away now darn it all. Guess we all feel like that. And yes if I did do it Police would be called and I'd likely go to jail. Pity. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
W 38ys
H 39 yrs
DS 2 yrs
DD 21 yrs
DS 20 yrs
M nearly 21 yrs
WHO DARES WIN
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My wife told me she will NOT tell me OMs name because she is afraid "I will KILL him."
I told her she "may" be correct.
The thought of some OM being with my wife infuriates me.
Now what the **** do I do since I can't guarantee I won't destroy OM?
Do we move?
Wife said we "can't" move under ANY circumstances because our daughter is sophomore in HS and this would absolutely DESTROY her. I agree, our daughter would be devastated.
How will I know if she is still in contact with OM if I don't know who the heck OM is?
I am leaving here Jan 2nd if OM is not revealed.
I'm done.
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I am a female, and I would love to beat the ****** out of ow. This is not just a male thing.
The funny thing is my husband before he started an emotional affair said that he would divorce me if I had a male as a best friend. He said this to the ow prior to the affair. Isn't that ironic.
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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TA
I have information that would destroy OM and have convinced him of my very credible, verifiable physical threat should he ever threaten my family again.
His GF tells me he lives in fear of me. That is as it should be and keeps me from needing to feel his flesh yield.
Also as Aussie points out if you end up in jail, HE wins.
MB Alumni
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yeah getting life imprisonment for topping the [censored] isn't going to help. Ok to feel that way, self defeating to act on it. Still a pity though <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
W 38ys
H 39 yrs
DS 2 yrs
DD 21 yrs
DS 20 yrs
M nearly 21 yrs
WHO DARES WIN
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well TA why paint yourself into a corner here?
Can you give your word to your family not to seek him out or attack him?
My guess its someone you both know and if so it may do 2 things...
either you will now be aware and can see if contact happens have your eyes & ears open
or
you may have been interacting with him even now and shes scared you'd do something foolish.
Have a think about it.
W 38ys
H 39 yrs
DS 2 yrs
DD 21 yrs
DS 20 yrs
M nearly 21 yrs
WHO DARES WIN
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TA
I have information that would destroy OM and have convinced him of my very credible, verifiable physical threat should he ever threaten my family again.
His GF tells me he lives in fear of me. That is as it should be and keeps me from needing to feel his flesh yield.
Also as Aussie points out if you end up in jail, HE wins. Maybe I'll have to use your idea Bob. Have OM live in FEAR without ever laying a finger on him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I guess the Physical pain that I would inflict would eventually heal, LOL. But, if I could have him looking over his shoulder for the rest of his F'ed up life would bring me peace.
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Sprint has wanted to and done his best to nor drive to his city. I know Sprint, and I know if he got his hands on OM, that I wouldn't have Sprint anymore...he'd be life in prison for murder, or something close to.
Sprint told me his dream of what he would do to OM...and it was pretty nasty. Being I know my husband's past in the Special Forces, I wouldn't doubt if he hadn't of stayed away what would have happened..
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Also its a sobering thought that OMs GF feels about my Squid pretty much what I feel about OM.
How would I fell if MY life was affected by OM GFs vendetta against Squid ?
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well TA why paint yourself into a corner here?
Can you give your word to your family not to seek him out or attack him?
No, not at this point. I told my wife I wasn't ready until I have all the info about her affair.
She REFUSES to talk about her AFFAIR, said it's been over for months and "I need to learn to GET OVER IT, MOVE ON, QUIT BRINGING IT UP, SHE AIN'T TALKING ABOUT IT.
Told me "it was my fault." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
I'm 99.9% certain she works with this guy. So in order to maintain NC she would have to QUIT her job.
She does not want to quit her job because she makes very good money, good benefits, and is very close to home.
I told my wife that I didn't want to LIE to her and that Dr Harley said I have to be honest.
My guess its someone you both know and if so it may do 2 things...
I'm 99% certain OM does NOT know me personally. NO male in their right mind would F with me like this and expect to get away with screwing my wife.
either you will now be aware and can see if contact happens have your eyes & ears open
Exactly.
or
you may have been interacting with him even now and shes scared you'd do something foolish.
Most likely I will do something foolish and she told me this.
Have a think about it.
So what the H*** do I do?
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If you're a Liberal please don't respond. I already know your answer. Sure about that are you? GC
Divorced July 2005
"The idea that God acts in fits and starts, moving atoms around on odd occasions in competition with natural forces, is a decidedly uninspiring image of the Grand Architect."
-Paul Davies
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If she is saying the A is your fault she is not accepting responsibility for HER decisions...I'd say the A is not over or at the least shes in contact.
So ok
what you do now is not make threats but set boundaries.
You require NC
You require knowledge of who it is IF you keep your hands off him so as to post he NC letter just like MB says
you require honesty from your w
no more secrets
go to a MC or the Harleys
etc etc
I doubt frankly she can give them if the basics of who is responssible can't be discussed even.
Bob is a real expert this area, hes got hard won knoweldge so ask him for some advice.
W 38ys
H 39 yrs
DS 2 yrs
DD 21 yrs
DS 20 yrs
M nearly 21 yrs
WHO DARES WIN
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I felt the same way. I wanted to track him down and beat him. However prison would be worse than anything that is happening now. My brother spent 7 years in prison for assault and it's not worth it.Some worthless scumbag isn't worth having more of your life taken away. I contacted the a-holes employer. That was far more effective than beating him.He will lose his job (at a law firm) if I contact them again. My ww of course wants to protect him, but now she can't without more lying and manipulation.She seperated to avoid me going off and calling them again. They are both destroying eachother now. He is risking his job and she is risking her lifelong relationships with everyone she knows.It can't be much fun for them anymore.In the end she will be much wose off than me. It's not instant gratification but it's better than prison.
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there's always the law of unintended consequences. Remember that what goes around comes around, and the adulterers will eventually reap a harvest of sorrow.
God doesn't settle all his accounts in 30 days.
I think whatever consequences may happen to the adulterers is far worse than beating them up, because the consquences of the adultery are at their own hand, but the beating up of them is at the hands of somebody else. They then become a victim and the roles are reversed.
pretty confused
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If she is saying the A is your fault she is not accepting responsibility for HER decisions... She acknowledged that she made "some" mistakes, but not many. Said she was "practically perfect and any man would be LUCKY to have her as a wife." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I'd say the A is not over or at the least shes in contact. Ditto. She may have ended any PA or told OM the A is over but they are still in contact.
Steve Harley had one session with her alone. He said my wife is one of the most Structured people he has ever come across. He said "catching her will NOT be easy."
She always has to have CONTROL because she has ACA (Adult Child of Alcohic). Has childhood issues with her Alcoholic parents that have destroyed our marriage. She is a MAJOR Conflict Avoider.
She told me she hates all men. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Oh yeah, so why the F even bother with OM? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Maybe OM dumped her, LOL.
Although I would have a hard time believing this, she has a HOT bod and it would be hard for any male to walk away from that. If he is having the same or better sex that we had for the first few years then I don't see him leaving anytime soon. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
Said "No male will ever control her, not even OM.
I replied, "are you insinuating that I controlled you?"
She didn't reply and couldn't look me in the eye. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
So ok what you do now is not make threats but set boundaries. How can you SET boundaries when you can't enforce or acknowledge they are being followed. You require NC You require knowledge of who it is IF you keep your hands off him so as to post he NC letter just like MB says you require honesty from your w no more secrets go to a MC or the Harleys I've had TEN sessions with Steve already. etc etc I doubt frankly she can give them if the basics of who is responssible can't be discussed even. I was going to hire a PI, then I decided I had enough of this affair crap and decided to leave Jan 2, 2006.
Maybe I should hire one and get the info any way I can, then I can confront her.
Bob is a real expert this area, hes got hard won knoweldge so ask him for some advice.
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TA...I'm pretty sure I'm the guy you remember who got into with the OM twice. This is a guy XW works with. They had an EA that when it was over, long before our divorce I assured him I would pound him senseless if I ever saw him in the house again. Lo and behold a family emergency had me ruch over to XW's with son and he was there (and we were long divorced)...it was midnight and when I saw him I kept my promise...and he tried to sneak out!! That was what irked me we were divorced!!! He was still a sneak..
I saw him again out and pounded him again and I have been to all sorts of counseling...if I see him again I'll pound him. This is because he was supposed to be a family friend...he runs with fear if I'm near. No company functions with me...cause I don't care if I'm in church or a court room...I'll pound him....
it's just an understanding I have with everyone. I have chosen this issue to remain perpetually immature about. This guy remains arrogant enough to run his mouth still..and I'll keep it swollen shut if I have to
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TA- I understand your feelings completely, and while I no longer have the urge to beat her into a bloody pulp, because I have forgiven her, she isn't worth the energy it took to hate her..... but I had many fantasies about doing so. (One time I even dreamed that she came up and started running her mouth and I began to beat the crap out of her and them picked her up and threw her through the plate glass window of her store). I told my husband that if she so much as said "Hi" to me, I would throttle her within an inch of her life.....and that going to jail didn't mean $h*t to me....I have no priors. The ONLY reason that I did not get into a physical altercation with her, is I was not sure I could stop once I started. I was afraid that I would literally beat her to death. (Yeah, that's the kind of anger I had towards her) When I beat the crap out of my FWH at a club when we were separated, I found myself unable to stop hitting him, he never attempted to hit me back, but I COULDN'T STOP.....and that scared me.....I didn't stop until the bouncer pulled me off of him and removed me from the bar. And that REALLY scared me, I became aware at that time that I and my anger were OUT of control. -Caren Edited to say: P.S. Why the heck was this thread limited to MEN???? I'm a scrappy little irish red head, and I could go toe to toe with just about anyone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by CarenMc; 08/21/05 03:56 PM.
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TA- Edited to say: P.S. Why the heck was this thread limited to MEN???? I'm a scrappy little irish red head, and I could go toe to toe with just about anyone <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
I would call it more like Fake wrestling and hair pulling.
When I fight, I fight.
When I was 19 I caught my neighbor (18) who stole my dirtbike. I put him in the hospital for 4 days. I broke his clavical, arm and ribs.
His face looked like a pumpkin when I was done. He was the neighborhood thug.
The police arrested me and hauled me off to jail.
When it came time to go to court "he" never showed up.
I wonder if someone intimidated him not to show up? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
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