I do not have time to post right now but be looking for me to catch up with you later ok? got a few more questions (military) thanks! mlhb

Okay!

In His arms

ok, here goes....

I am gathering all my proof for when they call me back. should be next week or the week after. Now, h moved out on july 12th with no sep agreement or anything. I had already stopped my sep agreement I was having made up because I was thinking there might be a reconcilliation at one point and then I figured, hey, I didn't do anything wrong, I shouldn't have to be the one to pay for this or initiate it.

I do not think H has seen a lawyer but if for some reason he has seen one so HE could start a sep agreement would that matter in this case? Because it would have to be a finalized divorce right? and in my state he has no grounds so he could not file for divorce until we had been living apart for one year so that means at the earliest july of 2006. I am getting really nervous mortor because he and ow are really getting in deep now. they have actually started doing things in public now and I am deathly afraid he is going to start exposing my kids to her. The man did ask me on the phone if there was any legal sep in place... would that matter? there is not but still. when I do my statement to them I am going to be the wife who is fighting til the end for her marriage and I am going to state that. I am going to say that I do not want revenge, I want my H to have the chance to do the honorable thing and to not be a disgrace to the military, himself, me and our kids any longer. Should I ask that they initiate no contact until he gets a finalized divorce? Because that will be over a year from now that he could have no contact. I just want to bust this affair up mortor and this will do it. I want to make sure they do look into this and that they will insist on no contact. They do look into every complaint right? I am so afraid mortor, so afraid. I don't want this to get swept under the rug. It is getting really bad. I want to protect my family. Please HELP!!!!! mlhb

bumped for my friend mortorman :-)

bump

If I remember rightly, you live in Virginia like me. There is no such thing as a legal separation, like in other states. You can draw up paperwork, but it really doesnt matter much. The judge will take it into advisement, but doesnt have to honor it. Separation agreements are not required in Virginia to be separated.


Correct. The divorce is all that matters. Until then, you two are still married...no matter where you lay your head down.


Correct.


Doesnt matter to the judge. Married is married in Virginia.


You can ask what you want. They MIGHT take it into advisement. But in the end, the military will do what they will do, irrespective of what you ask for.


Absolutely.


Settle down. Look to Jesus for comfort right now, okay?

They wont sweep it under the rug. If they did, then you could go to NGB-IG and report them. They do not want that kind of heat!! I cannot say for sure what they will do to your husband. I have seen a wide ranging list of discipline imposed for adultery. But, I know they will nto sweep it under the rug.

Keep posting. Keep praying. You are doing fine!!

In His arms.

Hi Mortor. I am NOT in virginia, I am in NEW YORK state. H is in the vermont air national guard. I do pray about this. But, my pastor, who is retired air force seems to think the military probably won't do anything to my h about this. or, if they do, the effects could be trickling down for years. he just wants to be 100% sure this is what I really want to do. I said yes. But I don't want them to just "talk to him" and do nothing and then he is just mad at me for doing it and the affair isn't busted up. All I want is for them to say no contact with this woman until he is divorced. Anything else they may choose to do is up to them. It is one year of living apart here in my state before he could file for divorce.

I am typing my statement this evening and getting together my things. The woman's soon to be ex typed his statement last night, 7 pages worth! and is giving me cell phone bills and a copy of his divorce. Should we get photos of my h's car at ow's apt as proof as well??

My pastor is afraid they will just slap him on the hand or tell him don't do that anymore and that will be it. I just don't want to do all of this for nothing and have h laugh in my face for tying to do it. Or worse yet, hate me even more than he already does. mlhb

also, does it matter if he is not an "officer" of the military? He is not like a higher up or anything. He is only part time one weekend a month and he is a firefighter for the air national guard. someone asked me if this matters. I believe when he got back from tech training he got another stripe or promotion. the beginning of his name there is the letters SRA. do not know what those stand for. thanks, mlhb

spoke with my pastor again last night and he said I misunderstood what he said. He said going to IG is good, will bypass the good ole boy network and will be def. investigated that way. He said he is sure they will do something and that he and the church support whatever decision I make. that makes me feel better! mlhb

Zactly!! The IG owes no allegiance to anyone, just the regulations and the military. They are impartial fact finders. Once they get all the facts, they will make recommendations to the general for what is supposed to be done. The general will almost always follow the advisement of his/her IG and JAG. No way that general wants to get in hot water, especially for some airman that cant keep his pants on.

Hang tight. Let the IG do his work.

In His arms.

thanks mortor and thanks to my pastor, I feel better now! Not perfect but a bit more at ease.... I will probably start freaking out again when IG calls me back! mlhb