Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19
Junior Member
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19 |
I had posted a few days ago that my wife wanted me to move out. I was told by many not to move out. I didn't but she has been out of the house and I did not have the chance to tell her why I hadn't moved out. I told her Saturday night and she was upset. The deal was I move out and she will go to counseling. Appointment is today and I am not sure if she is going. We have been in the house together but very little conversation. If she asks me to do something I do it even though she says we are separated living in the house together. What can I do to try to make the situation better and a least open her mind to the possiblity that we can save this marriage?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome. You were given good advice not to move out. Start in Plan A, which is working on showing her what a great husband you can be. Let her know, but mainly show her, that you are making changes.
Tell her you do not want a divorce, and will be working to keep the family together. Be like a broken record. When she says that she needs space, blah, blah, blah, just repeat that you intend to keep the family together. Don't argue with her, just let her know you agenda is working on the marriage.
By the way, thanks for serving in the military. I know there are lots of sacrifices involved. I'm hoping that we can support you through this.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19 |
Thanks for the support. I can't tell from day to day where I am at with this. Yesterday I went with her to look at an appartment. We have talked about the divorce and have told her that I don't want her to leave. Not sure if I am doing the right things. Sometimes it is difficult to keep a good attitude. Any other suggestions would be great! Also, she is not willing to talk to anyone who knows us both is the common. We did have problems before we deployed and were away from each other, but she won't admit that it made the situation worse.
Thanks for the support.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
If she wants an apartment, let her look for one. I wouldn't go out of my way to help her split up the family.
Have you done any investigating about the possibility that she is having an affair? The signs are there.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19 |
I know she is in contact with someone she has seen. She says there is nothing between them, but I think different. She will see him this weekend, I found out in a round about way. One of the things that brought us together was we use to talk, but now we don't but she does with him. She did admit there was something before, but like I said I think there is still something there. He lives in a different state, but is able to travel easily. Do I need a investigator to prove what I already know?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Investigators are kind of expensive. Have you checked her computer, cell phone records, email, tapped the home phone. etc?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19 |
She has a separate e-mail account that she opened through yahoo that she thinks I don't know about. She only accesses her e-mail online now.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 19 |
She says she is all done and will not do anything for the relationship, do I take that a face value? I am not sure what I should be doing at this point. We have talked about a divorce and what and how custody is going to be and a little about splitting up assets. Is this someone who has made up her mind, can it be changed? We have decided to stay in the same house for now for finacial reasons, but she said she wants to be moved out by November. I'm not sure if she is trying to see if I have made any changes?
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
171
guests, and
73
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,963
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
