Ugh, once again I am driving Los Angeles -> Houston...this time with all of my belongings. I am cutting the final string connecting me to the city where my M died.

I will be going to Las Vegas tonight, to see friends that are flying in on Tuesday from Houston, then Flagstaff, Albuquerque, Amarillo, then Dallas/Ft Worth...then Houston.

If anyone wants to meet for lunch or dinner, email me at geckogoon@yahoo.com and maybe we can make our schedules sync up...I am in no real hurry to get back, so distractions along the way might be good for me.

I tried to set up a lunch date with my WW one last time, but she refused to meet with me. Why do I even try anymore?

I had another let down as well today. My best friend, who's husband is having an A on her (that is how we met - at our "bitter with baggage" support group) has told me that our friendship constantly reminds her of her WH's A, and therefore she needs to break contact with me for at least a little while, or maybe permanently. This is from someone whom I had been there for, anytime, day or night, when she was down. I gave to her even when it wasn't convenient or easy. I listened to her and gave her advice...and she did some of the same for me. So yet another rejection, another disappointment. We would talk on the phone for 2-3 hours almost every day.

She is in so much pain that she is cutting herself off from everyone she loves or that loves her. But I cannot get through to her and am going to honor her wishes. It will be hard. If you get a chance, please pray for her. She is hurting, even if she won't admit it.


TM

TM- are you from TX- thats why your moving back?

Why did you get yourself involved in an EA? You set yourself up for a let down. You are being honorable in respecting her wishes to let go.

Cheer up, think of this as a new beginning to learn from your mistakes in the relationship and build something more grand in the future ones!

Its always sad to hear that a marriage didnt survive but you learned alot from being here ( I hope). Keep your head up and think positive!

Plus .... your leaving to a grand state! TX ( I hope i wont be making the same trip CA to TX anytime soon , well at least not permanantly ! )

Travellinman,

Pray tell, why would you invite your WW to lunch???? If it is to drive her further into the clutches of the OM ,you are succeeding admirably.

If you think you can TALK OR REASON OR CORRECT her.... well you know that you can not do that.

You just gave her the narcotic fix that will permit her to continue on her immoral path because , guess what, her husband is still there!

How can she ever feel her loss with you if you are ever present?

If you can not resist contacting your WW, how can you expect her to not contact her OM( which should be a MUCH more difficult task)?

Like the WWII movie..Run Silent, Run deep...and run very, very dark.

ShouldI -

I would not consider it an EA... I was giving her advice on how to save her M. She refused to come here for help - she is very strong-willed - but she would ask me for advice. I became a sort of MB conduit for her. I told her that she belonged with her H... In fact she dated other guys in LA - still does. So I am not sure it was an EA, although if she did in fact reconcile with her H, we both knew our friendship would have to end. So call it what you will.

Cymanca,

I have given up on Plan B, and am now persuing Plan D. I was trying to meet with her to save us both the hassle and expense of runing every little thing through both of our lawyers. I was hoping to come to some sort of settlement on our assets, and to see her face-to-face in an environment where no attorneys were present. I no longer really want reconciliation - I don't think i could ever trust her again. Too many lies, too much hurt, just too late.


TM

TM,

Don't you see what contact does to you even if you are in Plan D. Don't let the excuse of making the divorce easier or less costly enable your continued contact with her. We all can come up with reasons why we SHOULD contact them but under the retrospectroscope, you see how damaging these self deceptions truly are.

Recognize that your union of 14.5 years is not easy for you NOR FOR HER to walk away from. You can't have done any kind of good Plan B in the time you have been on these boards.


If you still love her( stupid assumption huh) let her finish that journey into fantasy land. The quicker she gets through it the better. When she reaches out to you in an attempt to save herself from drowning( and eventually she will), take her under your self.

Remember Plan B is not done to save your M , it is done to save yourself.

Best of luck

TM- sorry for jumping to conclusion but it did sound like you were E attached to her.

Do you really have to move to TX, if your in Plan B...D? I do not know your story but is it wise to pick up and leave? I know ive thought of that many times but in reality Im letting WH live happily with OW and thats one thing im not going to do.

Regardless..... Best of luck to you !

Dude - any chance you can wait until the temp drops below 95, and the humidity drops below liquid? I lived in Texas for 36 years. The SoCal climate is SO MUCH NICER! (And they think is is HOT right now! Ha!)

Good luck on your trip. Watch out for the jackalopes in the panhandle.

Safe travels.

far

click on me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So THAT'S what grits look like!!!

In all fairness - it is getting hot here. I had to turn on the air conditioning around 3 this afternoon.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That should save your [censored] when that fault line kicks in! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

TM,
good luck and Godspeed on your trip. I know exactly what you are talking about in regards to meeting with your STBX. I attempted the same thing and got the same exact response. Oh well. We tried. We have peace in knowing that. Now we just let our attorneys handle it.
When do you think you will be moving to Babylon on the Colorado (Austin)? I will probably be there for the Horns/Rice game on 9/17. Probably wont be much of a game. But there will be some awesome tailgating and the M.O.B. (Marching Owl Band) is always good for some great laughs with their performance. Proof that an education can be a very dangerous thing in the hands of some!

TM, we'll be happy to get you back here in the Lone Star, and away from the clutches of your selfish WW. It's hard to be sane when you're around her, huh? NO MORE CONTACT!

We MEAN that!

How far away are you from D? Last I read, you had petitioned and been granted court proceedings here in Houston instead of CA. What else is left?

I am so sorry to hear of your friends' decision. I understand how painful it can be to lose someone who has not only come to be a good friend but also a sounding board for our Ms.

Be safe and take care, hun. At least with all that baggage, I know you're not out galivantin' back and forth accross the country on that Sports Bike! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

slh

ShouldI -

I actually moved back to TX in mid march...I just put most of my belongings in storage in case the reconciliation process ever began...I even rented the storage space nearby my WW's new house. So I am just cutting the final ties with CA with this trip.

WCNT -

I am not sure when I will be moving to Austin, but a weekend trip (either an official MB gathering or a weekend fun trip) would be great. It would keep me out of trouble I am sure.

SLH-

My D is proceeding, but Harris county courts are notoriously backlogged. The process will most likely take the better part of a year, and that is if is doesn't get very nasty - which I have a feeling it will. We haven't (and most likely won't) come to an agreement splitting the assets, so I imagine the judge/jury will have to settle who gets what. Fine by me.

I miss my bike so very much - It will have been almost two weeks since I will have ridden it once I arrive in Houston. I can't wait to get back on!

-------------------

I drove by my WW's house once I was done loading my stuff, and lo and behold, her garage door was open (the garage is in the front of the house) and a sprinkler repairman was there to work on her system...In the garage was her car...and the OM's! This is after her telling me he doesn't live with her anymore....yeah, right!

So luckily, I happened to have my digital camera on me at the time, and I snapped a few shots of their cars together, making sure you could read her house number in the shots.

So much for her trying to claim there is no affair going on...


I will check in again when I get to Vegas.


TravellinMan - On the road again!

TM

Hello all -

I fared well in Vegas...essentially paid for most of my trip to TX!

I couldn't make it all the way back in two days like I did the first time - I have to drive much more slowly with the larger truck this time.

I am crashing here in Ft. Worth, and will finish the trip tomorrow.

I have thought a whole lot about my sitch during the drive. Nothing like the open road to clear one's mind...


TM

Welcome home, honey!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />