I have posted my story before.
My ww has had an affair for 7 weeks now. We have started several false recoveries but no luck so far. She always ends up back with om.She just can;t make it through withdrawls from om. Now she wants to move out. she claims to have no feelings for me anymore, after 13 years of friendship and marriage.She has alienated everyone in the family because they don't support her behaviors. OM job has been informed (he is single so not many options for exposure). The employer (a law firm) was not happy threatened him losing his job if keeps up the dirtbag routine.
Anyway my ww is in such a fog and I am trapped it seems. My only alternative at this point seems like divorce. She doesn't want one but I am close to wanting one.I just can't deal with all this nonsense anymore.We have no kids so a fresh start might be healty for me (35 years old).
I want to try plan B. My ww is ****** bent on seperating with no real plan for herself. maybe letting her go is the best tonic.

kdh, you do not know how lucky you are that you do not have any kids. If I did not have kids then I would not put up with anything that I am putting up with now. If I did not have kids, then I would walk out whistling all the way and excited about my new life that awaits me and the good woman that is waiting somewhere for me. Do not get me wrong in that my kids are my life and the best thing that ever happened to me. However, it complicates things immensely.

If I leave then my WW will probably get custody. Joint custody is a myth as the primary custodian has all of the benefits. She can move a thousand miles away. She can meet another derelict like her that will be raising my kids on a daily basis.

If things are not to your best interest, just walk. Leave skid marks as you pull away. I know that you have feelings for this woman and a long history but if she doesn't want you then get on with the wonderous life that awaits you. The only life that you are given on this earth. I wish you well.

kdh, instead of throwing in the towel and despairing, why not just wish her well in her seperation and stay in Plan A a while longer? You are suggesting permanent solutions to a TEMPORARY problem. The affair is going to blow over, a divorce will not blow over.

Do you want to save the marriage?

This is true- its just hard when your the bs and its like your up against a brick wall- cant go around it, cant go under it, so I have to climb it and it is high- hard and ungiving. Ihave been doing Plan A for 3 weeks and I dont know if im coming or going.

I want to save the marriage but my ww spouse does not. She won't paticipate in anything other than running away. I am in a situation where I am between jobs. she is the primary bread winner right now. If ahe runs off then we have to sell this condo which needs some fixing. She has to participate in this proccess or I am srewed. I have another place to live lined up. If she leaves me strung out for 3 months or however long before she decides to recon. or divorce I am screwed again.No place to go.She knows this and is using it to hurt me over and over again.Her messed up plan is to "get a new place and just go from there".OK, then what? I am stuck.
The situation is not in my favor. I feel I have no power at all. I am at the point where I am more concerned about my well being than what happens to my marriage. I want to save it but if she bails in the end(which seems likely) I don't want to be screwed. Part wonders if someone that would do this to me is worth being married to.