I have placed a few posts on the forum and repeatedly read through the pages of this site in an attempt to make sense of the situation regarding my wife’s affair with a neighbour. I have been offered advice regarding dumping her setting up surveillance to gather evidence I have considered it but feel it is not my way.
The situation arose due to the death of my neighbours wife and my wife admits that she was comforting him in his loss (I know how it feels as I also lost my first wife not the same way she died of a brain haemorrhage relatively young my neighbours wife probably committed suicide I was the first on the scene) so in this sense my wife was meeting an emotional need in him, It now seems that things progressed and he began fulfilling her emotional needs at my expense. This relationship however was always performed when I was either at work or out; she then spent a holiday with him at his Spanish villa (I was invited at the very last moment knowing I would neither be able to get the time off work or a flight shifting the blame)
I confronted both of them to which they both denied there was anything going on. I am trying to win my wife back however she is very angry claiming I showed her up in front of everyone, and does not accept the facts that others were talking about them.
I have read through pages on recovering after affairs. She wants an apology out of me (the Taker) however I do not see her apologising in return she thinks she has done no wrong. Pages also advice against me making my feelings known regarding the affair as this will put her on the defensive.
How do I approach this and go on