Lol, just call me Bramble "PitBull" Rose.

And my husband does accuse me of wanting to be a man!

heehee, and while i think his comments are coming from his own 'stuff', i have to realize that my stubbornness drives him nuts also!

I gotta run...go turn over tables outside and tie them down...Katrina, ya know!

But I have to add about Rosie ~ sometimes she could make me sooooo mad and frustrated! I would want to kick her.

But guess what...she was RIGHT...whe was pointing out things in ME that were not comfortable for me to acknowledge.

Took a little while for me to see it.

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Well Susan dear ~ you sure never allowed me to see that anger...hmmmm....

I was trained all my life to hold it in. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I did a good job huh?

LOL. Just thought I'd point it out.

I am tuff enough (pitbull grrrrrr) to handle a bunch of anger silly!

Hi BR... as one more following these posts hoping to learn something, could you elaborate on this?

I admire your insight, and thank you for helping Froz (hi!) and the others reading further our self-knowledge.

Hi smur ~

Froz is comparing "making small talk" with her clients to Pep's husband's love gesture reserved for Pep only.

Froz does not know what intimacy is, because she fears it so greatly. That she would compare small talk with her clients to something Pep's husband does for only Pep is a pretty good sign that Froz doesn't know the difference between sharing oneself with 'people' and sharing in a close intimate bond of marriage.

In a "small talk" circumstance, asking questions is, yes, a way to show others your interest. It is also a way to control a conversation - to direct it away from one's self.

Have you ever talked to a person who is so controlling that even conversation must be controlled to the nth degree? (Not you Froz!!) My brother's MIL is like that. Conversations are painful, and small talk almost impossible, because her list of "off limits" topics is soooooooooooo long and sometimes unpredictable. You can be talking about the brilliant blue color of the sky with her, and she'll abruptly change the topic mid sentence almost, to something that she is more comfortable with...until someone says something out of line on that topic! Verbal whiplash is what I call it. Very awkward and difficult to relax.

Anyway, in Froz's circumstance (and in mine!), questions are used to pull information from people. Not because we care and love that person, but because we believe that if we can just get a 'handle', a little more knowledge, a little more understanding of what makes that person tick, then we will have the information we need to be in charge and in control. Fear of intimacy leads us to controlling others, and leaves us trapped behind huge prison walls.

We are tryin to bust Froz out of prison! LOL. She needs to become a succulent wild woman with the rest of us!

I missed LetStry's reply!!! ack!!!

I'm so glad you are doing well. I remember your panic about the business very well. It's amazing what we can do when we ignore our fears.

Healing your relationship with yourself is hard to do with another person around causing distraction. I'm glad you've decided to give yourself that gift of time to heal.

I'm sorry to hear about your stepson. How incredibly sad. Sometimes it makes my stomach turn, just thinking about how much pain and suffering results from the disease of alcoholism.

I'm doing ok. Recovered from my stroke, am now working full time, and making strides in my career that I never would have believed possible either. My husband says he fully expects that I'll be making more money than he does within a year. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I hope thats because he believes in me and not because he really wants a second fat paycheck coming in!! Probably a bit of both!

My husband is still ... well.... THIS WEEK he is trying to quit drinking. He is very difficult when off the booze. He still believes that he can fix himself up without help. So I'm not holding my breath. Honestly, he is much nicer when drinking. Oh dear, I can see myself in serious need of an Al-Anon meeting over this.

Anyway, LetSTry, I hope you stick around. I'm sure alot of people could benefit from your experience, strength and hope!

Does anyone actually listen to me? If everyone is just going to form their own conclusions, it feels pretty pointless to even attempt to explain myself.

Froz,

It can be frustrating dealing with forum communications sometimes. When I was coaching with SH, he acutally cautioned me about spending too much time here.

He usually gives homework assignments between appointments and may ask that you limit your time here as well.

Another thing, is that he can often run late for the appointment time. It wasn't a problem for me once I knew, because I could schedule my time accordingly...usually spent the extra minutes reading HNHN or Give & Take.

A few quiet moments of peace prior to the call is good emotional prep work. Also after the call I gave myself time to fill in notes, and write down questions for the next session.

I have high hopes for you & Patriot!

Hi Froz ~


Yes. I am listening. I hear more than you realize hun.

Thanks for the explanation, I think I understand now.

I love the way everyone just arrives at these conclusions about me.

Reminds me of a "Friends" episode...

HELLO...I'm RIGHT HERE!!!!!!! I CAN HEAR YOU!

Sorry, Froz, if you thought my last post was about you.

I wasn't making any conclusions about you. I was making conclusions about me.
I don't really know whats going on with you. BR's theories, based on her observations of you and of herself, seem to 'fit' my sit to some extent and also those of others I know. Only you can determine how they fit your sit. I would say don't discount it just yet. Maybe your perception will change, maybe it won't.

No stab intended, Smur. I was just being silly.

I am not discounting anything.

I'm glad BR's observations are helpful to you. They are to me, as well.

Well...now that we all agree that we can hear each other...

Did somebody say something????