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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 121
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Just a quick question for the vets both BS & WS.
Is it normal for a WS to say they have no feelings towards you in the early stages of recovery? If so how long did it take for you to see them to even start to come back? What did you do or the BS do to help it along?
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
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Well, for me it got to the point that one night H and I were out for dinner. I had had enough. Did not find MB till after D-Day. I told him I needed to tell him something. In a calm quite voice but firm I asked him for a D. I think his eyes became open for the first time in 2 + years. After this I found his e-mail's to OW and it almost killed me. After being assured there was NO one else. It took him time, he started saying I love you's but the were empty words. Probably due to my feelings as well who knows. It has been since 11/22/04 and things are going well now. I still have issues and find some things that were said haunting me in my dreams. How long has it been for you??
married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365 |
For quite a while, I felt like I didn't have feelings of love toward my H. It wasn't until after I found MB myself that I really started understand why I was feeling the way I was and how I could change it.
Unfortunately, it took me too long to discover MB and my H has filed for D. That doesn't mean I am giving up though.
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 121
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Posts: 121 |
D-Day was in November 2004. A ended 3 weeks ago. Recovery started only a couple of weeks ago.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 121
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Posts: 121 |
Cinny,
One thing I am learning is to never give up as long as there is even a glimmer of a chance. You may not even see hope but that doesn't mean to stop trying. Not yet atleast.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365 |
Trebor,
Altough my H isn't offering much hope at the moment, I will continue to fight until the day the D is final, and I think even after that, I will try to date the man. I'm not going to give up!
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 121
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cinny,
Just to let you know I was served the D papers also. We are now going to MC and although it is early I was loosing hope that we would even get this far.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365 |
Trebor,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have been going to MC by myself for the past month (we used to see a MC together). I am hoping that by going by myself, I learn how to make myself a better person and more of the W he deserves.
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 121
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Posts: 121 |
cinny,
I hope to hear similar words from my wife some day.
Does he know all this. Does he understand what you are doing. So many BS wish that there WS would do the same.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Posts: 365 |
He knows. He even sent me a text message yesterday telling me he hoped my time with MC went well. He is on the MB as well ... mws1230. You can do a search on him to find out what he has to say.
A lot of BS have said that they wished their W were putting forth the effort I was right now ... I only wish that I could have come out of my fog sooner. My H says that my efforts are "too little too late."
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 121
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Posts: 121 |
It's never too late. And I have come to learn that some people say things and change their mind later. Some things are said out of pain as well. I'm glad to see that you are not giving up yet.
To see that he inquired to see how your MC session went also shows that there is some interest there.
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