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#1458275 08/23/05 07:02 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
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L
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My husband and I went to MC tonight. My homework was to read this poem 20 time.

What does it say to you?

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.


Me (BS) - 38 Him (WS) - 40 DDay - 7/6/04 Seperated - 5/26/04 - 8/9/4 In Recovery The Lord told me to Press On!
Joined: Oct 2004
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bump from the second page. This is important to me.

Thanks


Me (BS) - 38 Him (WS) - 40 DDay - 7/6/04 Seperated - 5/26/04 - 8/9/4 In Recovery The Lord told me to Press On!
Joined: Jun 2005
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All I can say is WOW. This is quite a poem!

Well, it says a lot to me, but I have to ask you if you are asking us to do your homework for you? I don't mean to be harsh, but what do you see in this?

In a nutshell, to me, this asks, are you strong enough to accept who you have become? Do you measure up? If not, are you willing to?

I think each piece asks a different question. I really like this poem actually and I thank you for posting it. I plan on putting this one up on my fridge for a while I think.


BS: 37 (me)
WH: 35
D-Day: 6/10/05
Plan A'd from a distance - WH moved out
Plan B started: 10/04/05
Plan B fell apart: 10/14/05
Back on the Plan B pony 10/23/05
Baby stepping in recovery since 11/06/05
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981
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Posts: 981
Dear Lifted up,
I loved the poem so much that I copied and sent it in an e-mail to my husband. It had perfect timing for me considering that my husband is frustrated and not sure he wants to go on struggling in our marriage.
The beauty of the poem touched me. To me it said, do you dare experience dispair, joy, tears, humilation and embaressment, all of lifes experiences and still be joyful that you are living and sharing with each other. And when the day is over, and you look at yourself in the mirror, do you like what is looking back at you.
Thanks for sharing the beautiful poem.


In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.

Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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StopTheWorldPls & Kdsheartbreak,

I have not decided yet what it says to me. I am working on it. There was really no homework just read it 20 times. When I decide I will let you know.


Me (BS) - 38 Him (WS) - 40 DDay - 7/6/04 Seperated - 5/26/04 - 8/9/4 In Recovery The Lord told me to Press On!
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 160
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I guess poetry just doesn't speak to me because it makes no sense to me at all! I can't even understand whose point of view it is written from. If it were me I guess I would have to go back to MC and say WTH was that ??? and how on earth is that helping me in our recovery?


Married 10 years Three Children: Son(8),Daughter(6),Daughter(3) DDay - May 6, 2004 False Recovery Begins - June 1, 2004 OW Pregnancy Revealed - June 27, 2004 False Recovery #2 Begins - August 30, 2004 OC born Feb. 25, 2005 Have chosen to have C DDay AGAIN -- June 10,2005 - Found out contact w/OW had continued from Sept-Feb Recovery Begins (again - let's hope it is real this time) July, 2005 C w/OC on indefinite hold while M is worked on
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LU, that is quite a poem! Is your MC a Christian? I am curious what this poem says to you. How does your MC plan to use it in your therapy? Did your H have to read it too? To me it reads what we all said in our vows, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer....


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Jul 2004
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Lifted UP,

Did the MC write this poem??

""If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.""

Uuuhhh What???

Can you be an Ahole and still be my loving mate??

Heavy duty poem. I think you probably have to read it 20 times to understand it.

Good luck with that!

k


CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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She is not a Christian Counselor she is Secular. I do not know how she plans to use it. My husband has read it and we have talked about the poem the Christian side and the Secular.

I also fell that it is about committment, being there for the good and bad. On the other hand I think it says can you accept me the way I am with all my flaws even if I make them again.

Does that make sense?


Me (BS) - 38 Him (WS) - 40 DDay - 7/6/04 Seperated - 5/26/04 - 8/9/4 In Recovery The Lord told me to Press On!
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Yeah, there were a couple of sentences that made no sense to me like the one above that Krusht pointed out. Is she pro M? Our MC was not Christian though she worked for a Christian organization and she respected the fact that WE were believers. I would tackle this together from the Christian side and forget about the secular side, KWIM? Take your counseling and always try the approach from your beliefs. I have studied some secular marriage books and would try to find some passages in the Bible to compliment the book.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
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LiftedUp - Beware! Like most "good lies" it has elements of truth tucked in there. It is very much like Satan's lie to Eve, "God didn't really mean what He said, you WON'T really die." No, they wouldn't drop dead immediately, but they would die "spiritually" and their physical existance would become finite and they would even die physically at some point.

Pick and choose your advice carefully, and if it is NOT founded upon, and supported by, Scripture....run to Scripture for clarification and understanding.

(I responded more fully on your same topic thread on the Recovery Forum)

God bless.

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That poem was written in 1984 or 1982 by an old Native American woman. I lost this poem years ago. Glad to copy it again. For me, this poem represents the essense of who I am...who I strive to be and what I deserve and look for in my partner. Thanks for posting this!


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