Hi,

I have a question here, but first i'll give you some back story. Im 20yrs old and have been a christian all my life. Over the past 11 months I have been dating a gril whom I have come to love very much, with all my heart infact. I have given her a promise ring (for purity and we have talked of marriage too) and God has blessed our relationship. Mitchell(my GF) is a very beautiful girl. She has bond hair with green/blue eyes and is slim and tall. My problem confuses me tho. I do not masterbate, i havent in over 3 years, i have never watched porn, and was never a player. My problem is this, quite often i am not as attracted (physically) to her as i used to be. I have a problem of finding other girls more attractive than her. The thing is, when we first started out, she was the hottest woman in the world to me, but over time I'm having a harder time seeing it. In highschool, i had attractive girls asking me out and stuff all the time, but i was never interested do to the fact they were not christians. The physical apperance came last. I love Mitchell more than ever, and her personality is soosoo amazing, I really do want to marry her. (We will be getting married in july) I just find that i am constantly convinceing my self of her apperance, an aspect I used to never care about. I dont know whats wrong with me, i realize how worldy and immature this problem is and i pray to Jesus to change my heart, but its been like this for a month or two, and im really frusterated. I would never brake up with her and i know shes pretty, it just seems there are beautiful woman everywhere i look, and im not even looking, i am extremely loyal, but i feel i could sometimes do better. I am being so blantantly honest here, and reading this i see how proud and cocky i seem. But i really dont think im that great, and i dont have a realy high self esteem, tho i have an average one I think. My question is how do i find her more attractive agian?? I know shes beautiful, my friends all say it, and i know it, im just confused. She does have a really low esteem tho, because she has a bit of an eating disorder, its gotten much better, but shes sad about it quite a bit and it brings me down often.
Thank you so much for your time and reading this, please be brutally honest with me about what you think of me and what i should do. I have never asked for advice before like this, but i have really been feeling called to lately. Please help me and pray for me, thank you!

God Bless

Scott,

Are you a sports fan? Well in preparing for games, most teams make it a habit of scouting the other side trying to figure out the best way to defend against them and what offense will over power them. In life, if we as Christians don't do the same, then we risk being outplayed by the other side. So look at these thoughts, are they good and pure, as if gifted from God or are they otherwise as obsticles placed by Satan? As you've described your girl, she sounds beautiful inside and out, yet the thoughts that play in your mind are focused on the physical. While have an emotional need for an attractive spouse is valid, having an obsession for physical beauty is the sign of something else. Some may call it cold feet, or immaturity, but in your description of things, I feel that it's someone trying to pull you from her and ultimately HIM.

I'm presuming you like to read, head down to your local book store and get Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis.

Don't get married! Unless something drastic happens this will eat you up and you'll feel trapped because you can't talk to other girls. Get out while you can, I wish I did.