I am taking steps to do that.
what steps have you taken?I have a full-time job and am saving money. I had my vehicle put in my name. The cell phone account is next. WH gave me several thousand dollars in equity for the house (no problem there!) Practical things like that.
I am blamed for all the problems because I refuse to go along with this arrangement.
You are "blamed" for what exactly and by whom? Be specific.WH sees nothing wrong with ignoring me for other people, but is angry at me when I withdraw and detach. He can't understand why I'm not there for him when he does get around to coming home and gets very angry about this.
He flatly refuses to POJA anything.
And what is your response to this?I continue to offer, but withdraw and detach and stay out of the way as much as I can. I can't do anything about his behavior (gee, who said that?) He's made it clear that I will never be a priority for him. Getting strokes and attention from friends and especially coworkers is absolutely his #1 priority in life.
Even my kids are begging me to get a divorce.
Why is that? How do children figure into the adult decision-
making? I never said they did. It makes me sad that even they see no hope for repairing the family.
I just joined in the discussion because it seemed that a lot of Frozen's situation is similar to mine.
I have no business telling you to whom you might post ... but I do not see much similarity in your situations ... after all .... Patriot is HERE and he is trying to fix what he broke. Your H is not. I found some of your comments to be highly disrespectful of Patriot's efforts. There is a saying in AA ~progress, not perfection~. I am sorry you thought my comments were disrespectful. I think my post was polite but very direct. If dissenting opinions are not welcome on MB and everyone must post the same opinion, then you are right -- I don't belong here.
***I was not really looking for any more advice about my own situation, though it is appreciated; it's just that I know that unless and until I finally move out, nothing will ever change.***
I have said this many times.
I nearly pulled you out of another MB conversation recently .... when you said( to a hesitant and frightened BS) something like ---> "Unless you make a change yourself, nothing will change in your marriage." <--- I almost choked on the irony of your making that observation looking outward instead of inward. Maybe I said this because of what I have learned from my own mistakes in my own situation?
You have other options ... moving out is only one of them. I'll be damned if I can see what they are. Talking, explaining, reasoning and asking do no good at all.
The truth is, Mulan is a head case with a bad bout of PTSD. That's just the way it is. I thought everybody on MB knew that by now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
[b]You can't scare me away Miss head-case....
