Hi all you wonderful people.
Well today Is my start to d-day, would you beleive my WS attorney called to ask for me to pick up the divorce papers so she can save money on them having to serve me.
I am just wondering on what goes on next and if anyone out there has advise for me. I would appreciate that.
WS going for sole custody, child support, house, alimony, her legal bills my b**ls. All through this time she has said she only want's what's best for our 9 yr old son (whom I am very close to she said split custody and I get the house because she want's to live with OP - What a liar.
This is time line: 4 month's ago I found out about $38K in credit cards. 3 month's ago WS started flirting with anyone. 1 Month ago start A (and with a real bum, drinks beer for breakfast, been D 4x and he is only 38)They are both loosers.

The next step if for you to get a lawyer pronto. You didn't mention if you have one. She is just running her mouth. She will get little if any of the things she says she is going for. Divorce doesn't work that way anymore.

When you go to her lawyer's office, sign nothing by the receipt of service. That is all you are required to sign at this juncture. Actually, you can have her serve your attorney as a proxy for you. This is how I'd do it (her expense be damned). Her attorney may attempt to get you to sign other things "while you are there, just so you don't have to come back." DON'T DO IT! You could sign away everything.

Let her pay to serve you...why convenience her???

Sorry, I forgot yes I do have an attorney, and I did pick up the papers - I was too curious, basicaly she goes for everything Our son / house everything in the house the only thing she said I could have Is my personal belongings Hah!
Oh yes and I'm to pay all her legal bills too!!!!
This Is from a person who has said I want what's best for our son and I know that's shared custody and you keep the house. Like I said before what a Liar

Unless you are a child molester, these are empty threats.
However, each state is different so your attorney should guide you.

Newly's right. She's either delusional or there are three other possibilities:

1. She's got a pretty good lawyer who is trying to rattle your cage and make you make a mistake.

2. She has a really bad lawyer, in which case, your lawyer (assuming he/she is good) will mop the floor with the wife's lawyer.

3. (This unfortunately is the the most probable) The lawyer has decided that he/she will be completely unreasonable in the demands, knowing that he/she won't get it, but that isn't the point. The point is to run up the fee as high as possible. After all, they are demanding you pick up the tab. This tactic often backfires in family court.

Simply turn the papers over to your lawyer and be done with it. Do not discuss this with you wife. Not one word. If she asks, simple tell her that you've turned the matter over to your attorney. If she persists, tell her to talk to your attorney. If that doesn't work, simply hang up. Do not get mad, do not say anything ugly. Be cool, calm and confident. Don't forget that all conversations you have with you wife may be being recorded in an effort to fish for ammunition to use against you later. Until the legal battle is over, as much as is possible, no contact is advisable.

BTW, you can sue for divorce yourself, you know. There's nothing to say only one spouse can file a divorce complaint. If you file a counter complaint, make sure it's on grounds of adultry if at all possible.

CheckUrHeart,
You are correct with your assumption, my STBX told a mutual friend that her lawyer(parasite)advised her too "shoot for the moon" and negotiate down. Making It obviously a more legnthy/expensive divorce. I am in the process of conter suing, with my attorney.
Unfortunately we are both in the same household (both of us have been advised to stay as If one leaves they denounce the home / child)I am staying cool though, I have a good group of friends to talk to. Funily enough It's WS that is hostile and argumentative - I am trying to co-operate with the alien.
Honestly, I do not see her as the person I once did, I beleive because I valued her morales, family virtues etc. I now know those don't exist within her, and so now see her as someone else - If that makes sense.
I have pity for her, and I am trying to forgive her that I can move on. The forgiveness part I am not fully able to do as the A continues,I can forgive for what she has done, but the next night she will come home at 12pm (just steping out for coffee for 4 hours, Duh! I'm not that gulible. If anyone can help with that, I offer my thank's