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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 127
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 127 |
I jsut thought I would post this seperately in order to attract more opinions.
How long do you wait for a fence sitter and what methods can you use to get them to make a decision?
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
Have you read up on Plans A & B? If Plan A alone is not enough to knock a fence-sitter to one side or the other, Plan B is implemented as the second half of the program.
The newer, shorter timeline I have seen recently recommends about 6 weeks of Plan A for women, about 3-6 months for men, and a full year of Plan B before commencing divorce procedures. This can vary a bit with individual circumstances, but I'm sure some of the resident experts can give you more specific advice based on your story.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320 |
Seeking - I have asked the same question. I'm in Plan A. I guess its up to each individual. I plan on waiting on WW as long as I can. By that I mean, I will start plan B the day before I decide I have lost all love for my WW. Don't know if that makes sense.
NotSo - the 3-6 months for men. Is that 3-6 months of plan A for BH's with WW?
Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
Yes, and about 6 wks for BW's with WH's. I first saw the revision a few weeks after I finished my just-over-3-months Plan A. Personally, my newbie recommendation would be to save a little more than one day's worth of love, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />, but it truly is up to each person.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320 |
NotSo - Thanks, yeah I probably will save a little more than a day <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748 |
I have been doing a good, but not perfect Plan A for 6 months now and Steve harley has not yet given the green light for Plan B. He told me that he thought that people on this board will sometimes encourage Plan B too early.
I imagine the time length depends a lot on BS's strength, stamina, and basic self-esteem as well as how obnoxious and irresponible the BS is behaving.
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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