My husband left me 5 days ago. I found out he was having an affair 2 months ago. he choose to stay with me but my anger made it hard to work things out. I would hold it in all week and then cry,yell, tell him to leave and explode. He never had showed me any guilt or seemed sorry for what he had done. when I found out he was seeing her again I explode again and he did leave this time. I really don't want him gone. I do want him back but I know this may not happen. He is staying with her now but is moving in with a friend of ours today. There is a big difference between me and her. I own my home, good job,nice things, good person. she has low job, studio apt,party animal, etc.
this is my question. What is going on now. he came by last night and asked if the light is still messed up. yes it has been messed up for 3 years now, hasnt fixed itself. he is coming by sunday to fix. told me nice shirt, you look pretty in it (my hair was messed up-no make-up) and asked if I wanted money. Handed me a 50 (a 20 wouldnt have been a big shock but the 50 was really big, especially if you new the reason behind what the money was for)
I now it must be the guilt but there was really no guilt shown before. and also when I had asked him if he had quarts of oil in his car because mine was low he offered to go get some. (i told him no I will do it myself today) So defient that its over and so quick to be overly nice. What is going to happen next? I know you are not psycics but I know someone has exactly been here. Thanks.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a good place to be under the circumstances. Sorry no one answered you sooner. You might want to try posting on general questions, as there is more traffic there.

So far, you have done everything wrong, like most of us. Start reading all of the information here. Plan A is the starting point - that is showing him what a wonderful wife he may be losing. Also no LB's - that is screaming, shouting, saying mean things, disrespecting him. I know it is tough, given his behavior. But it is necessary if you want him back. Also don't talk badly about the other woman, even if it kills you. That just tends to make him defend her.

Most affairs don't last, and the spouse comes back to the marriage, but it is miserable in the mean time. So keep reading and posting here, and we will guide and support you.