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#1459329 08/25/05 04:44 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 89
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 89
Hi all,

As I posted before my H was dumped by the OW on Sunday - I know I am probably expecting too much, but I want her out of my life.

Well, I guess my H must have some stuff at her house, so she has sent an email saying he could pick up the stuff yesterday and she would put it out. Then she sent another email saying she would not be off, but he could come by today and she would make sure it was there. He sent her one saying today would not work and he would have to get back to her as to when.

I guess he must have tried to call her today because there was another email saying "are you OK or did you hang up on me?" I feel like he is still seeking her out, even though he has been calling me every since this has happened. We went out to dinner last night, which should have been our 14 anniversary and he did get me a card.

I have been waiting for her to exit from our lives, but it seems that there is always a reason for her or my H to want her to come back. I have been told on several occassions that it was over between them - this is the one time I actually have a little hope because she has decided she still loves her ex and just had his baby 4 months agao and I think she wants to see if that relationship has any chance.

I know it is soon, should I just wait. Does it usually take them awhile to get the other out of their system. Do I take his phone calls and just be nice and see what happens? He has not said anything about us fixing our marriage, but I guess that may come?

Thanks.

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
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Quote
Does it usually take them awhile to get the other out of their system.
Yes it does, but it will not happen as long as your H stays in contact with the OW. Remember an A is like an addiction and an addicted person will experience intense withdrawal symptoms as soon as he/she is separated from the addictive substance (in your H’s case the OW). Therefore, your H will try to get his “fix” by contacting the OW. Your H will only start to get the OW out of his system as soon as he ends ALL contact with her. If he starts withdrawal and have contact with her again, he will regresses back right to the beginning of withdrawal and the process will start all over again.


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