Well well well... OW called ME this morning. We spoke for 1.5 hours. It has been a PA all this time since she got pregnant and beyond. He sees her and OC 2 or 3 times per week. They already signed legal papers for visitation and CS which should be showing up at my door any day now. MY DD, DS and I are going on Thursday to meet OC. DD wants to meet him on her terms without her dad present. OW agreed.

(((((((FF)))))))))

You know I do not thrive on drama. I am not like that. I do not want any more drama in my life. That is why when DD said she wanted to meet OC I said if OW is ok with it, then yes. OW and I agreed to put OUR differences aside for the sake of her son and my kids. You can call me a fool but I would rather face my pain head on than be kept in the dark any longer.

You'll not be hearing me call you a fool. I admire your brave approach to this.

Thanks, froz. My DD is a pretty amazing girl.

FF, I can't imagine what you must be going through. And yet, through it all, you have behaved with bravery, class and more composure than I could ever summon in such a situation. I do admire you.

Facing your fears head-on is such a huge example for your DD, and a big step to take for you both. You both must be hurting so. Continued prayers here, babe.


slh

Thank you SLH. Yet I am dealing with the stupid WS mentality too of it is all my fault because I lecture him too much blah blah blah

Then the next minute is i love you and want to be married to you. sheesh

I am honestly in too much pain and too confused to react right now. All I can do is breathe. The stuff I learned this morning is till processing in my brain. The pain comes in waves.

{{{{{{{{{{Faithful}}}}}}}}}}

It's hard to know what to say. I know nothing I say will change the hard facts.

May you reach down inside and find the strength to deal with this, and may God show you the way, and add to the strength so that it is enough.

SS

SS, I am trying to get through this with grace. OW and I really did have a good talk. My H is so messed up. I wish someone could take this pain away. I feel as though I have been punched in the gut.

FF, you're going waaaay beyond what I imagined when I wrote something about setting an example for your DD. Taking her for this visit is huge. Huge. Maybe someday she'll know the kind of guts it's taking.

Do you know what you're going to do?

GC

Faithful, we're here with you. We love you! Sending prayers to God to relieve your suffering and give strength. Sending hugs for you just because!

{{{{{Faithful}}}}} {{{{{Faithful}}}}} {{{{{Faithful}}}}} {{{{{Faithful}}}}} {{{{{Faithful}}}}} {{{{{Faithful}}}}}
{{{{{Faithful}}}}}

Sally

No, GC no idea what I am doing yet. I cannot see for the pain I am in. All I know is my kids are hurting and I will be there for them.

Sally, thanks for the big, big hugs.

Would you like me to beat the living he** out of your husband?

I'll pretend he is my WW OM. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Sorry for all your pain.

Your husband and OW are definately 2 Peas in a Pod.
'
What else did the ***** say?

I wish someone could take this pain away. I feel as though I have been punched in the gut.

I worry about that. It is not helpful, nor needed at all.

I hope you get through today alright. Tomorrow is another day, just make today, and let tomorrow worry about itself.

Sending you support across the fiber optic lines. (It's
hard, but I think I got it all stuffed through the monitor.)

SS

Minute by Minute is how I get thru.

One hour seems so long sometimes.

Keep your head held high, you did nothing to deserve this.

I'll say a prayer for your family. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

FF, I haven't been keeping up with MB, but I've read most of this thread. Plan B sounds right, but I found it very difficult with 2 adolescent daughters (at the time), with the activities both H & I wanted to attend. I'm not sure how anyone in Plan B gets around being at the same location, watching/rooting for the same kid!

Have you asked your H when he was going to tell you about the visitation & CS? What was his plan? Since you haven't known, it makes me think that the visitation was going to take place at the OW's house or the park or McDonalds. He would have been "working late" or missing work to do it.

I'm not sure that talking to the OW is doing you any harm, you, or at least your daughter, will be dealing with her for the rest of your lives. I know you know that not everything she says is trustworthy. She isn't your friend, she's a thief in your life, but, if your H & her story don't match, he isn't necessarily the one lying, neither one may be telling the truth. Though it seems she is more forthcoming with pertinent/actual details at the moment.

Take a deep breath, support your D, watch to see what your H actually does. Actions are almost always more truthful than words when the 2 conflict. If he doesn't try to salvage your relationship at this point, it isn't likely he'll do it spontaneously in the future.

Truer words were never said. As for OW, no I don't trust her and she doesn't trust me. My H made sure of that. After all I am the psycho wife and mother from ****** and she is the manipulative, idiotic mother. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

However, I will do this to set the stage for my DD so that I know she is safe and secure. She does not want to see her father with OC and I can't say I don't blame her.

She wants to take a gift for the baby so we will do that.

I honestly do not believe I or my M can survive this newest blow. However, I am not doing any more knee jerk stuff. I will bide my time and make sure my daughter and son are taken care of. I will continue to be gracious to OW as God calls us to be.

Here's your quote for today.

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

TRY to take it one at a time.

SS

Faithful,

Reading that you are taking your DD to meet the baby has brought me to tears Faith. I have never in my life been so proud of anyone as I am of you right now.

I am so in awe of your spirit and the love you have inside you.

Oh Faith, if only you knew how admired you are, how wonderful you are and how very, very adored you are right here on this board.

And that you are in this kind of crippling, emotional pain is just about the hardest thing to know.

Your strength through your great and couragous love will someday reap much joy for you, for your kids and for that little baby.

(((((Faithful)))))

I think that what you are doing is best for your kids and the OC. The poor OC did not ask to be brought in to this.

Well, it seems that as the truth continues to come out, you should keep on exposing. I would think that you should try to show no emotion to OW or to WH. Tell OW the full truth about what all WH has done.

I honestly hope that both you and OW give WH the boot and then try to have a cordial relationship for the kids sake. That would be easier if she doesn't continue with WH....

What a mess. WH probably has justified his behavior all this time as you started it with your affair. Now is the time for you to respect yourself--show him that he cannot do you wrong anymore--by withdrawing. Plan B forever.... YOu have so much work to do--healing for yourself and your kids. But expose expose expose.

I am so very very sorry. Keep posting. Don't give up on you. You have so many people who will see you through this.