|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
AFTER the "adults" get their relationahip roles straightened out. This is an active on-going affair and FF is bringing her 12 year old daughter to MEET the other woman who is STILL screwing her daddy ! Okay. Yes I see now. I wasn't thinking. You are right.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
.... but this is a 12 year old girl going to me her daddy's F-BUDDY .... and her MOTHER is bringing her to meet her father's CURRENT F-BUDDY which means (in a child's eyes) this is acceptable behavior, let's bring our kids in on this.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
I don't understamd.
This baby is Faith's children's half brother.
Is DD to ostracize the baby because of the sins of the father? Weaver, half brother or not...it is NOT FF duty to introduce her DD to the OC...This is WRONG WRONG WRONG! and as much as FF WANTS to do the right thing...bringing a 12 y/o into a a world that an adult cannot even understand! UGH! This is JUST A BABY to that little girl! a cute little baby..it is BEYOND her comprehension to begin to understand where this baby came from... Think about it...What if she goes to school...tells everyone "i have a half brother" then the questions start coming...how in the WORLD is a 12y/o to explain that one to her peers??? or her teachers??? It is BEYOND her comprehension...FF cannot possibly try to justify this by taking a little girl to meet her half brother just because she wants to! FF, be an adult here...put your foot down...do not take that girl to meet this baby! innocent or not...she does not need to be in the middle of all this...she has her WHOLE LIFE to meet this OC!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
This 12 year old child is being asked to view adultery up close and personal ... with NO pre-counseling or back-up support for the devestation this will cause .... promiscuitity is now "just part of the family tradition".
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Weaver ... to make this a beautiful tear-filled romantic venture ... is not right.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
I got it Pep, see previous post.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
and telling FF "I am so proud of you for doing this."
.... when the "this" being discussed is introducing a 12 year old to a woman currently screwing her daddy ........ like everything is OK now that there is a baby.
THIS IS NOT MARRIAGE BUILDING SUPPORT .... this is ADULTERY SUPPORT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 82
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 82 |
Ugh. I can't believe that i did not see that. Now is NOT the time.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Weaver ... I am flat out furious at you for supporting this idea ... and I need to vent.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
and I am furious at ~anyone~ who gave this notion an MB blessing
MAD AS ANYTHING
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
Movingforward and Pep,
What can Faith tell her DD now, if she decides not to take her?
Now that DD knows about the child?
And I do agree now, that now is not the time.
But what can she say to DD to help her understand this is not the time to meet the baby?
Faith is going to need help in explaining this to her now.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
and Weaver ... I don't stay mad long .... but when I am mad ... I f'ing OWN it !
Don't fret Weaver .... soon I will return to my regularly scheduled programing .....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
Well take it out on me in email if you want Pep.
I simply did not think, and I thought her husband was done with this OW.
I don't want you yelling at me on Faith's thread.
I am proud of Faith for trying desperately to do the right thing for her DD. For her huge amount of love for her children.
Sorry we can't all know what is the right thing to do under such horific circumstances, and that we are not marriage building pro's with all the right kind of support and answers.
Never mind, don't take it out on me in email either. I am out of here.
Had enough.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Ok, ok I didn't see it that way. I only saw my DD's pain and her desire to see this child without her daddy present. I didn't realize it would "normalize" it and I never even though about how you put it Pep. Ok, ok I am so screwed up. I just want out of this fing mess.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
She doesn't need to tell her DD anything! It is NONE OF HER DD's business! this is BEYOND a 12y/o ability to understand...This is adult stuff...not DD/12 stuff! She is a CHILD...and CHILD does not need to know anything about this!
And why is it that all of you people so graciously approved FF's decision in this UNTIL pep comes strolling in here! This is absolutely ludicrous! I thought that I was the ONLY one who disagreed here...and if you will notice my post was a mm ahead of Peps...so we both came in at the same time...but now all the sudden people say
"oh, I didn't see it that way...or Oh I cant believe I didnt' see that"
UGH! I'm sorry...this is just a little too close for home for me! I just see my OWN children and I picture myself trying to introduce them to the OC! OMG! and YES< I have thought about it! But dang! Reality HITS me! this is HIS mess...NOT YOURS..not your DD's...
I'm going to bed!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Weaver, sorry for dragging you in. Pep and Mom, I am a walking and barely functioning soon to be ex-wife who is desperately trying to help her daughter.
I will cancel. I will explain to my D that I am not ready to meet OC/OW. Damn, I totally was not looking at this right. I was not looking at this as protecting her from an active A. I am just as f'ed up as her grandmother and father. Arrgghhh....
Please don't give up on me. I hate my life, I hate myself. I cannot believe that things are as bad as they are. I really don't intend to stay married to him.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
BTW, DD does NOT know the A is still going since I really just learned this myself. Do I tell her or let her dad tell her?
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
Weaver, sorry for dragging you in. Pep and Mom, I am a walking and barely functioning soon to be ex-wife who is desperately trying to help her daughter.
I will cancel. I will explain to my D that I am not ready to meet OC/OW. Damn, I totally was not looking at this right. I was not looking at this as protecting her from an active A. I am just as f'ed up as her grandmother and father. Arrgghhh....
Please don't give up on me. I hate my life, I hate myself. I cannot believe that things are as bad as they are. I really don't intend to stay married to him. NO faith...you dont tell your DD that YOU are not ready to meet the OC right now! You leave this in the hands of your H...it is HIS mess...when he wants to introduce that child to her, then HE can do it! YOU stay out of it and leave your DD out of it as well! She may hate you now, but in the long run, she will soon come to understand! I know how you feel FF! I have been there! My Son is very angry...not at his father...but at the OW and ME! I know where you are! You need to just keep her out of this...when she brings it up...just tell her you are not going to introduce her to the OC and that is that! You are the adult! not her!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
BTW, DD does NOT know the A is still going since I really just learned this myself. Do I tell her or let her dad tell her? NO!!!!! FF!!! WAKE UP! why are you going to tell your DD/12 that her father is in the middle of an AFFAIR! STOP IT right now! let her be a child! look at YOU..look at YOURSELF and how you are handling this....now step back and look at your DD! she is twelve! you are what? thirty something! DO NOT tell her that he father is still seeing that OW! She is twelve..as mature as she may act...she is a CHILD! leave her out of this...Affair is NO WORD for a 12y/o vocab!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
My H is in for a shock when he learns just how angry and hurt my DD is. I know eventually it will bounce back to me though cuz I am the one that is always there for her. BTW my H introduced DS to OC and OW w/o my permission already. Poor DS can't talk so daddy takes advantage of him. Oh my gosh the more I think about this...
You see I was jsut trying to control which is exactly what you were saying right? Well I think as far as I am concerned he and OW can have each other.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
145
guests, and
66
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,963
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
