I was hoping that my Plan A would be so spectacular that I'd shake my frog prince out of the fog. I thought that he was going to respect my boundaries, but he didn't.

WH is still in the mode of thinking that it is perfectly alright for him to fulfill his needs in a way that cause our children and/or me to suffer.

It is clear to me that Plan B is inevitable and I am now ready for it.

There was one exposure left. My friend that is a lawyer and on the board of directors at the bank had promised me that she would tell WH's head boss about his affair and demand that WH and OW be seperated into different bank branches. Three weeks went by and she didn't have or make the opportunity to do so. Now she is on vacation for two weeks. I plan to visit WH's boss today and tell him myself. I felt a panic attac coming and have taken some extra medication today. Any suggestions from exposure vets on how this conversation should go?

WH has his long postponed 2nd appointment with Steve Harley yesterday. WH is supposed to talk to me in the next couple of days about it. WH has still not even completed step 1A in the reconciliation process which is to take sole responsibility for his A without any excuses or shift of blame on me. Step 1B is too answer all of my questions about the when where how and why of his affair --- also something he has refused. (I particularly want to know when it started, how frequently they had sex and where they had sex ... I want to know if a third party provided them with secret shack or assisted them in any way). Step 2 is to him to acknowledge the full extent of the pain and torture he has put me and our children through. Step 3 is for him to take measures to protect me from further suffering and provide an environment in which I feel safe and am able to heal.

I just don't see him even accomplishing Step 1A at this point.

Once WH has discussed his appointment with SH with me, I will report back to SH. I've sent SH a copy of my Plan B letter and expect That I will get his go ahead.

I am looking forward to freeing myself of his disrespectful behavior. Freeing myself and my daughters from being treated like yo-yos. First he moves out completely, then back to his mom's, then back home, then completely out again, now back to his mom's. He especially likes it at his mom's where he can cash in on the privledges of a family man and avoid any resposibilities and hey "I can do what ever I want whenever I want and don't have to tell you about it. We're seperated. I need my space." He should move out completely and leave me in peace to heal until he is ready to behave responsibly again.

Hugz LT. Sounds like you have a plan. Just remember your breathing exercise. Let the boss know this is hard for you t/d but you must for the sake of your family. Then say what you need. Let them know you respect they will do the proper thing. Thank him/her for their time and leave.

L.

Just imagine us all there, standing just behind you. Hope he has a big enough office.

Thanks for being there when I needed you once again Orchid. Thanks Luna!

I wrote a longer post earlier today, but it has dissappeared....

I was not able to get an appointment with Prince C.'s boss untill Monday, but he said he has an entire hour's time for me... I wonder if he knows what I want to talk to him about already?

In any case, I know that he is a warm-hearted, very family oriented, wise, and Christian man. A father figure for sure, and nothing to fear.

I don't have time to repeat my ealier longer post, but it was mostly about how much I should reveal. I essentially want to let him know about the affair. That although WH has promised a transfer for either him or OW nothing has been done to make this happen and the affair continues either off and on or steadily, but more secretivly. That our MC says that we have an excellent base for rebuilding a new M that is even happier and more fulfilling than before the A, but that that will not be possible until WH has absolutely NC with OW including work. Despite all it all I still love my H and I would like us to have the chance to recover our marriage. I have great respect for him and will rely on him to do what he thinks is right.


Too much, too little? Too late?