I don't have anything. he has a roommate and her and friends. I am all alone. I have nothing. its not fair. i am a good person and now i am all alone,

Kitty

The on ething that has changed since you were last happily married is that yoru WH has a temporary mental and emotional illness called " having an affair".

Friend WorthATry likens it to an alien abduction where the sane spouse of old is replced by an identical looking buttotally crazy pod person lookalike.

Also what you have is an opportunity to change your life for the better. A crisis is both a threat and an opportunity.

Calm down and STUDY. read Surviving an affair and the classic posts on these boards.

I pulled together many of these in a toolkit.

Click Here whcih may be helpful.

As believer told you elsewhere affairs are almost always temorary madensses, but devastatingly hurtful.

You need to dust yourself off, study and start effecting those behaviours which are proven to end affairs and recover marriages. Marriagebuilders plans.

All blessings

Not true. U have more going for you than you realize. Now give us some background if you want some support.

L.

my husband started having an affair with the bartender at the bar we go to, he had said he was going to stay with me and we will try to work it out but she was still going to be his friend. i foolishly let that happened. we never got better. he never acted like he was sorry. he was always nasty to me. i would hold in my pain all week and then on the weekend i would have too much to drink and just blow up, tell himhow i felt and tell him he should leave, i found out this weekend he had started the affair again and blew up and told him to leave and he did. he is staying with her but just moved in with a friend of ours but ow does have her own apt. i feel like i messed up everything. we did have some problems but we didnt even try to fix them. he wouldnt go to a counslor. i feel like such a fool. he was being nice to me yesterday and then so cold to me last night.

kitty

Quit feeling sorry for yourself and follow my last reply to you.

Kitty,

""he was always nasty to me.""

""he was being nice to me yesterday and then so cold to me last night.""

The WS will sometimes treat the BS like crap, being nasty, picking fights, making you "blow UP!" to drive him out of the house. (plan A negates this activity).

Unfortunately, sounds like he played you perfectly. You need to Plan A big time!!

And lay off the sauce!

k

Kitty , I said the same thing to myself the other night. She has someone to lay with her at night and company in the house....But I know from what she has told me it has come with a price, just have to hang in their for or WS to wake up from the fog. And don't argue, because you can never win with them.