Called OW husband yesterday. Those of you who've seen my posts know, this was really hard for me. But, as usual, you were right. I feel like I got a little of my self respect back...too much looking the other way as WH goes out to play. OWH didn't have much clue about what is going on and thought they were just friends. I think it might be more of a case of denial on his part. He was more concerned about whether they had s** than how emotionally attached they are. Is that common for BH? We didn't get to talk long. WH is very pissed. We haven't really talked yet, but I think the fact that OWH was in the dark is a surprise to him, too.
OWH left me a message at my office this a.m. and wants me to call him. Now what do I do? He seems like the type who thinks he can just fix this by telling them to stop. Well, maybe he's onto something, my 'polite' method sure hasn't worked so far. Do I keep in contact with him if he wants that?
What if this gives her the guts to leave her H now? Then she and WH can shack up in the daylight.

Help!

Give OWH everything he asks for.

Let him lead the conversation.

Do I keep in contact with him if he wants that?

ASK him if he will call YOU when he learns of further affair contact between your spouses. ASK him if he wants YOU to call HIM whenever YOU learn of further contact.

I"m afraid if I give him too much info., he'll blow my sources.

Don't worry about that. With OWH onboard, you just DOUBLED your sources and surveilence !!!

What if this gives her the guts to leave her H now? Then she and WH can shack up in the daylight.

Unlikely.

If that happends ... plan B a complete black-out and OW will never be able to meet all your H's needs.

"be not afraid"

Oh, and you might also start to worry a bit for your own WH safety... if he continues on with his nonchalantness, expect a good thrashing to be coming his way.

You might want to mention this site to him... he will have his own work cut out for him. If you and he are on the same "wavelength" it could benefit both of you.

SD

I have been in contact with OW's husband for 2 and a half years. It has really helped to compare notes.

Be sure to refer OM to this site. He probably could use the help.

He has probably talked to his wife, and she has denied things. Maybe he wants more verification.

WH seems to feel no consequences for his actions.

Yes.

Trixie,

I wish that OWH was more cooperative, he just thinks, "Whoopee, now I don"t have to feel guilty about sleeping around anymore!" They stay togehter for the kids. Great example, huh?

If OWH wants to save his marriage, the two of you can bust up this affair efficiently. Make the tools he needs available. You don't have to reveal your sources, just the evidence.

LOL

feeling especially ~verbose~ today aren't you WST !!!

LOL

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Well .... nix the 'bus' idea ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> tempting it may be.... LOL

He is addicted ! He is behaving exactly like an addict.

Addicts need to get hit HARD and hit OFTEN with consequences that result from their choices to proceed with their addiction.

.... without sufficient PAIN ... the addict will never NEVER give up the drug.

Do not stand between you H and his well-earned PAIN.

Wish I'd found this site sooner. you are all so helpful.

lost, it stinks that OW is your D's godmother. She's really a sheep whose lost her way (or one that was sprayed by a skunk <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />