So, here is my question... My husband of 13 years can not/will not attend the workshop/seminar at the end of September, he has his annual sailing vacation with "the boys".
Should I go by myself? Will this do any good to help our mariage?

After reading almost every page on the website, I have printed 70 pages for him to read & hopefully respond to. He read the 1st 8 pages from "How Dr Harley Learned to Save Marriages" to "The Love Bank", "Instincts & Habits" to "The Most Important Emotional Needs". He has stopped speaking to me all together!

Whenever I try to talk to him openly & honestly - we end up in an argument... I have actually stopped arguing & simply allow him to have his angry outbursts (the other night he kicked in a kitchen cabinet, dented the front of the dishwasher & threw all of the living room furniture on it's sides while screaming that all I want to do is control him & that I am a dictator). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> The majority of the time I don't talk to him unless he initiates the conversation.

I really want to have a functional marriage & don't want to divorce but my heart aches all of the time. I have completely withdrawn from him, family & friends because I can't discuss anything that is going on in my life with them.
The conversations that I have with my husband are pretty general & only involve him talking about his day at work because I'm not sure what is going to "set him off" or when.

Thank goodness we don't have any children at home to experience any of this. Needless to say, I'm sad, depressed and afraid. I don't know where to turn and am desperately trying to stay rational.

Any and all advice is welcomed. Thanks in advance.

Thank God you have no children together. He'd rather go off with his guy friends than nourish your marriage? And you want to go to this seminar alone? Why?

His kicking cabinets and overturning furniture is threatening and abusive. It tells you "I can do this to you if I want, and you better not give me a reason..."

He's already shut down because you printed out MB literature to enrich your marriage. He likes things the way they are. Why are you staying?

You are ashamed of your marriage and so have isolated yourself from friends and family. That's one of the signs of being in an abusive relationship. Friends/family might see and hear and comment. Easier to avoid them.

I suggest you get help with an abused women's support counselor. Good luck.

Definitely contact a women's support counselor!

Not meaning any disrespect but - why are you staying in this marriage? What are you gaining?

You could be staying out of religious conviction. Due to financial need. Due to emotional dependence. Because you had such Family Of Origin (FOO) issues that you married the first man who came along and you thought it was a good escape and don't want to admit you were wrong.

What are you gaining by being in this marriage?

Again, I don't want to be disrespectful. And I don't want you to think I am blowing you off. I want you to assess the situation. And talk to a counselor.