My WW gave me a very nice hug today, first one since exposure on Tuesday.

She still tries to corner me on what the exposure email accomplished. She says everyone feels sorry for me, but she is not going to be with me just because she feels guilty or sorry for me (classic babble I assume). She always goes on to say that she will not talk to anyone who received the email about us.

I still am doing the plan A. Cook her a nice Thai meal (fortunately I am a good cook), she was reluctant to eat because she feels guilty (she said this to me) but she enjoyed it, thank me and gave me a big big hug (30 seconds). It felt nice.

I think the thought process she has now is that she doesn't feel me anymore, and didn't feel me for two years prior to the affair. She feels that she doesn't want to "settle" for someone she doesn't completely love...babble, babble, babble.

Any suggestions on how to deal with the accusations of "what did the exposure email accomplish" or "Are you still glad that you sent out these emails"?

I just ignore what she said, she replied that my silence means I still believe in what I did.

Is it a good idea to contact the MIL or FIL, or her brothers by phone or would that be percieved by her as meddling and counterproductive?

Finally, how much plan A should you do before it gets counterproductive (ie she feels crowded)?

She says she doesn't want to see the OM anymore, but I know otherwise. She hasn't agreed to a NC letter but I assume it will take a couple of more weeks after the exposure for that to happen. Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance, I guess I will now be called 'Bob, the question guy' <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Some people believe that love just 'happens' to you, like it's this condition that just occurs without our control. The truth is that love is a choice and an action we CAN control. If you and your WW were to work on the marriage and meet each others needs, you would be in love again. Sure, you guys lost connection with each other and you lost some of the love over the years, but you don't just throw everything away assuming it can't be fixed.

Of course, good luck trying to get a WS to listen to this kind of logic while under the affects of an affair...

Any update.

Dr. Harley says Plan A for about 6 months. It's kind of annoying to them when you act like a good husband now. Where were you for the last 2 years. They don't trust it, they feel guilty about it, and they love it all at the same time. When crowding her ask her what she'd like you to do. If she wants space then Plan A says you give it to her. That's when you do the 180 plan. Go out. Do something you want to do. At the last minute invite her along then take off and enjoy yourself. Soon she'll want to come along. But even if she doesn't she'll be seeing a new and interesting Bob.

Hope all is going well. ACT