Thank's all
I have a quick question (I hope)
WS still having an affair, but living at home, says she Is in LOVE with OP as he is with her (after 4 weeks)She has filed for D and is broke (already bouncing checks) Anyhow she needs money for filing bankrupcy (yeah she did that to me also)
? Do I try to help her out? (filing sooner than later Is in both our interest. Do I ask her to contact OP for financial stability (according to her he has good job with lot's of $$)
I on the other hand need every dime I can get to give to attorney for custody battle.
Any insight Is appreciated.

Did you attorney separate your finances already so her bad checks and bankruptcy will not affect your credit? Talk to your attorney about it. If it does not affect you I would let her suffer the consequences of her actions.

mntony,

Hi. So, your wife wants to divorce and go bankrupt at the same time.

Hmmm..

In short, she wants to escape responsibility for her situation in life.

I don't think it is in anyone's best interest to "help her out" right here. Helping her be irresponsible is not helping her. Instead, I suggest you help her get connected with a good debt counselor. Many credit unions have one that you can see for free (if you are a member). There have been negative reports on some paid debt-counseling services (particularly ones which are linked with debt-consolodation services), but I think if you are reasonably careful, you should be able to find some help for her.

Read "debtsmart.com" for some ideas on how to reduce credit card interest expenses. Buy the guy's book - the one that is all about how to call your credit card companies on the phone and get your interest rates reduced. Sometimes, a few hours on the phone can bring a lot of relief - save you hundreds or thousands of $$$. Show her how to deal with her problems without running away. That would be helping her.

-AD

mntony, as soon as the D is filed, assets are frozen, so there's that. The "temporary restraining provisions" associated with filing are meant to protect you financially from lots of these shenanigans.

You need to separate your finances. Don't bail her out. You can be compassionate for her without falling on your sword.

GC

Sheesh, I would consult an attorney. In my state, both parties are responsible for most debt. So if she files, you may have to file too. Otherwise the creditors will come after you.

Mntony,

DO NOT help her out or give her a DIME. I don't see how this can NOT effect your credit, unless you both have separate accounts and credit cards. Protect your credit rating at all costs.

This D and BK is going WAY TOO FAST! Everyone will wake up 6 months from now and wonder what the h&!! just happened to us.

Do not do anything rash for the first 3 months. If you can stall the D do it!

As far as the BK is concerned let OP give her the $$, and when he balks at doing it she may get a rude awakening as to how committed this bum is.

Or maybe he already told her to get it from you!

This is a Lovewar you are fighting. Try not to consider yourself her protector at this time, your marriage dynamic is different right now.

Stay strong!

k