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STBXW leaves for overseas tomorrow and tonight is my first night in MY new apartment. No more STBXW shadows in the apartment I used to have...I don't live there anymore. I would have missed her two months ago, but not anymore...
I have really enjoyed this forward movement in my life...there were some triggers as I was clearing things out as she left things behind. They were annoyances at best...I thought about them for a moment and moved one...
I am looking forward to finding that special someone...someone who loves me and respects me as much as I will love and respect them.
Don't get me wrong...my GUARD is UP!!! but my short-term is to simply date platonically and see what happens.
WNB
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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(((WNB))) - congrats on the appartment!!
I too am in the process of D and understand the need to get out of the shadows of the WS memories...the kids and I live in the house I bought in 1989..sometimes I wish I could move just so I wouldn't have to see a flash of a memory of my WH around every corner...but I can't, not now.. someday I will. For now I'm going to stay put and build my new life here amongst those ghosts..I am looking forward to MY new independence!
Congratulations again WNB - I wish you much, much happiness!!
Take care,
~Jamie~
Enjoy making your new life....
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Me (40)
WH (39)
Married May 4,1991
4 kids S(18)D(17)D(13)S(11)
He left March 14,2005
Informed about MOW (co-worker) March 23,2005
I filed for D in June 2005
Divorce final - Sept.28,2005
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Peace is not the absence of conflict: It's that state we can deal with conflict effectively, efficiently and respectfully.
~Randolf Lowry~
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Thanks Jamie,
It sounds like you are really making the best of Life, which is all we can do...
We have been through a lot and I hope that Happiness will soon find you, if it hasn't already.
BEst wishes,
Scott
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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A minor update... STBXW called me before she got on the plane and apologized again for all that she had done...she sounded emotional, so I think she meant it. It doesn't change a thing with me, I do forgive her, but will not forget what she did. Besides...I have a Life to Live! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> WNB
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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Bears Repeating:
Besides...I have a Life to Live!
I have not yet moved out, but appreciate your inspiration.
Blessings
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Yes!! After 5 months of single mother-hood and a lot of grieving for my marriage...I find happiness every day when I look into the eyes of my kids....I find happiness here on MB...I have formed many friendships here as well.
Enjoy your new home....are you going to throw a housewarming party?? LOL
Take care,
~Jamie~
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Me (40)
WH (39)
Married May 4,1991
4 kids S(18)D(17)D(13)S(11)
He left March 14,2005
Informed about MOW (co-worker) March 23,2005
I filed for D in June 2005
Divorce final - Sept.28,2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace is not the absence of conflict: It's that state we can deal with conflict effectively, efficiently and respectfully.
~Randolf Lowry~
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Hmmm. Very interesting. It was about five months before I began to immerge from the fog and start (only start -- it took awhile) feeling happy again. Is this a "guy thing."
I went the other way. I stayed in the marital home. Boy that was hard! All those shadows you mentioned, WHnowBS. But I chased them out! Now this is MY HOME, and oh, but this feels great!
Mainegirl has a wonderful idea! Throw a house warming party!
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WNB - Glad to here that you are doing so well...Getting a new place w/o the memories and ghosts in the closets is great..I hope when I gather the strength to start packing boxes I can emotionally deal w/it..As I'll have to be the one to leave the marital home..he's to lazy to move.. I am looking forward to finding that special someone...someone who loves me and respects me as much as I will love and respect them.
Don't get me wrong...my GUARD is UP!!! but my short-term is to simply date platonically and see what happens. I hope you and so many of us that deserve a better life then where we were w/our WS get and find happiness. I'm hoping that I find a house soon so I can be happy too...I never thought I'd be done loving this man and struggling to save a dead marriage - but I am.. HUGS.......
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It’s always good to hear people taking the steps to move on. Congrats on your move and taking ownership of your living space. I would like to move to but just don’t really want to deal with it at the moment. Yeah, the triggers are there, but they are going away slowly. I hope within the next 6 months my life will continue to get better. I agree with Check, I’m still kind of in a fog.
Married 3 years
Me(BS): 33
WW: 30
D-Day 5/21/05
Divorced - it's over and my life has now begun 
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The "fog" really began lifting in June, but it is a slow process unfortunately.
It's like the "light" slowly going out that surrounded our WS's. She was no longer the prettiest girl in my World...just a sad confused person who threw it all away because of her own issues.
The last time I saw her was last Saturday at a 7-11...I just felt nothing when I saw her...that's when you know.
WNB
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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Your WH has been leading you down this path for a while...as long as you are seting the wheels in motion for your eventual departure, just spend as little time at "home" as possible. How are the D proceedings going? I know you were still making the case to fire MOW...hopefully that is also going well. It's gonna be hard, but when you have retrieved the LAST of your things from your former "home" and you spend the first night in your new home, you will have made it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> WNB
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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just spend as little time at "home" as possible. I've been trying to do that and when I get home he's balastic as to where I was and w/whom. Yes, I have been out trying to build and maintain a social life - I do not have a life w/him so I need PEOPLE..I need the interaction and fun. He questions me constantly..Doesn't he understand it's no of his business anymore. I have NEVER asked him where or who he's with - why ask me??? How are the D proceedings going? I know you were still making the case to fire MOW...hopefully that is also going well. I still haven't filed yet - still working on making sure financially I am not the one to suffer for his infidelities. The firing of MOW did not happen - he claims she will sue...IMHO - since his DD is friends w/her and she works here too this woman will stay. WH is afraid to upset his DD - at this point what does he have many MOW and a DD that controls him and helps in his A's.. Even w/the evidence of her not doing a part of her job - he didn't repremand her properly. He should if he's worried that she'll sue put it in writing and cover his a$$..Nope he didn't do it - why --- becoz he has no intention of ever firing her. That's what I see..That's why I do not want to step back into the M.. I just wish the perfect house would come on the market and then I'd just go.. I have been reading further on narcissists and I just read that as they get older they get WORSE...I never knew that b-4 and now I see that's why at 50 years old - this demon is worse than ever. There are times that I still feel bad for him - but, I have to block him or I will be an emotional wreck again and I can't do that...I can't go backwards.. Hugs my friend...you are on the right path just make sure as another post mentioned "your picker" isn't broke..You know what to watch for - guard yourself from more pain.
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