Hi can anyone help me, my partner is now living with OW, I found out about affair 4 months ago and have been to ****** and back since then. He did all the usual things lied about the reason why he wanted to end our relationship, then I eventually found out that he had an affair whilst I was overseas visiting my family in NZ. He phoned me when I was away to say he wasn't happy with our relationship and wanted to end it, I should state here that our daughter had just turned 1 year old at this stage. What do I do now, we have been living in separate places since June and now he is living with the OW, I am still emotionally attached to him after all he has done, and have only ever wanted to worked through the issues with our relationship in order to see if we could sort things out. Do you think there is any hope, or should I just give up?

Hi

I am sorry for your loss, some advice:

Figure out what you did to drive him into the arms of another.

Get back to the states ASAP.

Read up on Plan A and Plan B here along with the other stuff.

I will say it will be very difficult to get him back since he has moved out.

If it just won't work out then please learn from your past and I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks for your advice, can you let me know where I can find info on plan A? I feel that I have made the situation worse, I have argued with him, called him some not very nice names, given him space by himself and then found out he was seeing OW still. It really has been a mess. He seems to have moved on with OW and I am left with our daughter who is 1.5 years old, who he adores but not enough to put some effort into our relationship. Things I did that drove him into anothers arms - too controlling maybe, just wanted to be with him, he said he needed more space than he was getting! Expecting honesty and openess in our relationship. Having a child it consumed a lot of my time and energy which I guess means our relationship got neglected. We are back in the same town (London, UK) but not living together, I gave him space and stayed with friends, and now he is living with OW in a new flat. I really just wanted the chance to look at our problems and work on them to see if we could resolve things!

NZgirl,

Sorry you're hurting. You might want to go over to General Questions II (GQII). This board is pretty quite and GQII has alot of people dealing with similar things that you are. You'll find alot of help and get some solid answers to your questions from people who are there or have been there.

Best,

Symphony