I've heard it often said to Plan A yourself. I would like to hear everyone's interpretation and ideas on what that looks like.

Thanks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Purpose of plan A is to identify and implement improvements for yourself 1st, then your family/spouse.

It is not a matter of plan Aing yourself it is a matter of making improvements which will benefit yourself.

What do you think it is?

L.

[b]I asked Steve Harley the same question.

What exactly is Plan A?

Steve said Plan A is only 2 items:

#1. EXPOSURE of the Affair

#2. Working on YOU. Basically making yourself a better person. No LB's, disrespectful judgements, angry outburst, etc... Taking care of yourself both Emotionally and Physically.

That's it, period, end of story. Steve said "it is not about being NICE to your WS. It's NOT about buying them Candy or Flowers, etc...

It's about YOU. If the WS does NOT see REAL changes in you then they will NOT reconsider coming back. This is why it is important to live in the same household, so the WS can see real changes.

Steve said the changes have to be REAL and Permenant. If you deviate and go back to your OLD ways this will confirm to WS that you were ACTING and their actions of having an affair were justifiable.

Steve said "don't do more than you can handle." I was doing almost 100% of the housework and it was too much. Steve asked me if I was planning on making this Permenant? I replied "most likely NO." He said "back off and only do what you will continue with forever. I now do what I consider to be permenant changes.

Agree with everything TA said. I don't know that I would term it as Plan Aing "oneself" because that gives the impression that the goal is to embark on a massive self improvement campaign in the midst of a storm. That may be the result of the Plan A, but the GOAL is to bust up the affair and save the marriage.

I really had a totally different slant on this.

I thought you meant Plan A'ing yourself by meeting your own top 5 EN's. You know, pampering yourself... day at a spa with a girlfriend, trip shopping, bottle of wine, nap in the hammock or beach, fun yoga class, reading...

... now I want a vacation <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />