My husband & I have been married 16 yrs & have three small children .About 2 years ago he had a affair with this girl & even moved out with her for a few months. I waned so much for us to be together & work things out .We had basiclly grown up together & had a family I just couldn't believe he did this. Well he did come back & we have been working on "The happy Family thing".We have since had our ups & downs but at this point we have very little connection.He seems to be on a different wave length as me.I think about what kind of future we have & it seems very dim.I talked with him about divorce & he ges very emotional.I really don't know how we can seperate because of the kids but I also don't share much happiness with him & often wonder if I could have a better life.I feel like we lost everything we had & honestly I don't know if I could ever be happy with him again.Please help ..

Welcome to MB'ers! You have found a great place for advice and support in rebuilding your marriage.

Read everything available here - the Basic Concepts and Dr Harley's Articles. Make sure you understand LB'ers (Love Busters), EN's (Emotional Needs) and the 3 Stages of Marriage. Sounds like you may be in 'withdrawal' now. I bet you'd prefer to be in 'intimacy'. But that means you may need to go through 'conflict' to get there. That can be scarey but if you understand how and why that is, maybe that'll help you get moving in the right direction.

I'd suggest you also post on the EN and GQ (General Questions) sections. There is alot more traffic on those areas. You'll get more replies from folks who really do understand your situation.