I'm going to mediation on Wed. I am already getting very nervous about it. For those of you who have been..please tell me what to expect and if you have any advice to offer I would greatly appreciate it.
Wed. will be a tough day for me so please keep me in your prayers...

TR...

I am not sure what state you are in but I can tell you what it is like here in Maine.

I was nervous as well for the first one...(actually puked in the court house bathroom)

Basically the way it works is there is an independant court Mediator who has not ties to you or your spouse. They meet with you seperately initally to see what you are tinking and what you are looking for and then try to come together in the same room to work out a resolution. In my case what I told the Mediator was that I didn't want the Div and that I wanted to reconcile...she said that she wanted the Div and gave a list of demands. We went into the Conference room together and she brought up Child support the house the assetts and alimony. The mediator wanted to atleast solve some of the issues and have them entered if possible but I just couldn't agree to anything that resembled us actually divorcing. I ended up walking out which you have the right to do at any time. In our case the next step was to try Mediation again or make a motion for a pre-trial where a judge reviews the situation and any agreements that may have been made. If there are children involved he may make a decision to protect them but otherwise all he will do is set a Trial date for the actual div hearing. In maine it takes 3-6 months to get a Pretrial and another 3-6 for an actual hearing (very backed up here). So for me I was able to look at this as time (6-mo to a year) to work on My WW. that being said neither of us has filed a motion for even a pre-trial hearing. I hope That helps you in understanding the process at least here in maine. I wuld guess that it is pretty similar in your state. Don't allow yourself to anguish over the mediation it is only one step and a very early one. It really doesn't mean much in the big picture. Go in knowing what it is that you want and knowing that you will better understand your spouses point of view or frame of mind. nothing changes if you don't want it to with regards to your Div.

hope that helps...

R.

Thank You SeekingChange! I actually want the divorce now. There is no hope for getting back together. I'm just so nervous about it. I haven't been in the same room with my STBX in a long time and I know it is going to be emotional for me.
I live in Florida...
I'm hoping I can keep my composure. Also.....do you suggest taking anything to calm the nerves before going???