He is always angry.
He called today to tell me he needed me to encourage him as he is scared about the presentation.
I was matter of fact, told him he would do a good job.
Then he got defensive about something stupid, and I said I do not have the energy to fight with you.
I now know the truth and you do not have to admit it, but you have made me really happy knowing that i am not insane or imagining things.
Then I got blasted.......
"why do you always have to F**** things up for me mentally when you know i have this big thing today.
I said sorry, Diego.
That is her nick name for you isn't it.
he got quiet.
Told him a bit too much info, it slipped out.......
I said that she has a friend who doesn't like what is going on between the two of them, and she contacted me.
Told him now I feel vindicated.
More verbal abuse.
Then I said I had to go.
H called back 10 minutes later to tell me he had sorted out the unemployment check and made the change of address and apologized.

His account, not mine

Hi, fredswife.

Quote:
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H called back 10 minutes later to tell me he had sorted out the unemployment check and made the change of address and apologized.
==========================

Believe it when you see the next months check.

It also should go without saying, that the only time you can believe a wayward spouse, is when their actions match their words - verifiably.

So, as a reminder, here are two basic rules for a wayward spouse when they are speaking.

1) All cheaters lie.
2) Truth from a wayward spouse exists only when the words and action match, and the results are verifiable.

This is not to be mean or unfair, it is an unfortunate side effect of the choices an infidel has made.

You are doing well, FW.

God bless,
Gimble

I figured something out.....
duh!!!
H called me about 4 times for encouragement today, 2 texts, and a photo on my cell of himself.
he needs me for something.
I think I fulfilled the mother role and not the wife role.
He needs me for that.
OW is not fulfilling that need.
How do i become a wife again??????

honestly...?
quit being his mother. if he has errands/stuff that needs done, let him do it.

Let him discover that his wife was respecting him by helping him keep organized. I don't view my wife as my secretary, but she is my Godsend in helping me figure out which foot goes into which shoe (figuratively speaking).

After he is without that help for a bit, it should be easy enough for you to become his wife again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hi, fredswife.

Quote:
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How do i become a wife again??????
==================

By not being his mother. Let him go and get all grabby/needy and desperate with other woman. I'm just positive that it will make her all soft and gooey toward him - NOT. She will start pushing him away.

He is getting all grabby and needy with you. Don't meet that need. Let him try and get it from other woman. Stick to your script and mantra.

God bless,
Gimble

Yes, you are right,
I just was thinking alot today, reflecting on our marriage.
Being so caught up with the kids and the housework and his dieing dad, and construction on the house and working, I did not meet my husbands needs and that is why he is with another woman.
Ultimately it was his choice, but I feel i contributed.
I need to stop being his mother and become his wife again.
But first the harlot needs to go.
I don't know if I will ever have another opportunity to do that, it all seems pretty dismal right now.

I RECEIVED A HORRIBLE EMAIL FROM H BECAUSE OF THE EMAIL I HAD SENT OUT TO EVERYONE EXPOSING THE AFFAIR. NOW I FEEL I HAVE REALLY MESSED UP I NEED ADVICE!!!


You did this to yourself and to our family.

You know what you did.

You know the manipulation and lies you weave to try and get what you want.

You crossed a line and you are now going to get a consequence.

You can stay in JXXXXX. You can tell everyone I abandoned you. You can do and say what you want because that's what you are saying to me to my friends over here.

I said to leave my friends alone. I said STOP. You have to go spend your precious time hunting people down and harrassing them. You better tell Suzi to stop too because there are people who are ready and very capable of pressing charges.

This isn't local police stuff you are doing. This is federal Internet harassment laws. You better stop and you better tell Suzi to stop...NOW.

I will not be coming back in October. You can tell the children as you slandered me unjustly and unfairly (AGAIN) I will not return to taste your madness.

You crossed a ****** line. Your madness is not going to be excused anymore. I am forwarding your ****** to Noele so she can see what a sick ****** you are.

I am so mad at you. Keep all the money you crook. Spend it all on cigarettes and coffee with your crazy friends. I am so glad you are watching over the children and taking care of the house. You don't seem to be so overwhelmed with kids to take time to harass my friends.

You better start explaining or all bets are off.

I am tired of being lied about and slandered and accussed of things I haven't done.

I have only tried to work with you and you do this to me.

Go to ******.