I have been married for six months so yes I am very young. I checked my husbands email the other day and saw that he was emailing a girl he met while overseas.

In his email he said how it was good to see her at the cafateria the other day and apoplgized for it being such a breif meeting. He ask her if she would be interested in meeting up again sometime. If so to send her phone number or something. he ended the email by saying that he would be going crazy again thinking about her.

The next day she emailed her phone number.

I confronted him about it by asking him if he had seen her since he had been back from ovverseas and he said no. So the next day I didnt come home from work. I just taped the emails to the tv.

After we both cooled off a little he told me that they met and had lunch together. Of corseI ask the big question...why ??? and he said that nothing happened he just like talking to her because she is a "cool chick"!!! I feel like he cheated on me. Am I just over reacting???

Welcome to marriagebuilders. He has only been married 6 months, and he emailed her that he would be going crazy again thinking about her? And he says she is just a "cool chick"? Big red flags.

I suggest you get some counseling together. You are not overreacting.

By the way, keep reading all of the stuff here about how to have a great marriage.

HE IS LYING

None, and I mean none, of the men I know including myself would make those moves and hide it from the wife IF they didn't have alterior motives.

Best thing you can do is next time he wants to meet up with her make sure to invite yourself.

Amen and amen to the above. He's interested. Nip this in the bud or get your short marriage annulled, he's acting like a cad to say the least.

My husband and I just started going to a marriage counseling last week. This week the counselor tried telling me that my h can't meet all my needs and i can't meet his and that is the way it is supposed to be. Do you agree with that?

WHAT THE H*** !!!!

I almost fell out of my chair reading that line of s***. That MC is an IDIOT, or at least not pro-marriage.

See, the nature of marriage is such that both sides continually work to meet the other's needs. Is it ever "100% perfect?" Of course not. But even if my wife falls a little short sometimes, I recognize that she's trying and that's just as good.

Your MC needs to tell your WH that his behavior is inappropriate. Ours told my wife on the first visit: "You realize, of course, that you can't have this A and remain married don't you?" Just looked her in the eye and said it.

Now...how old are you guys? He's acting like an adolescent to say the least. Jeez, a "cool chick." My wife would go Lorena Bobbitt on me...

mflake~Killer Post Dude!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Seriously, all the things that you said Mr. Wondering and I were just about to post!

Just thought that we would add that she needs to immediately buy and read the books His Needs/Her Needs and Surviving An Affair.(Both available on this website or your local bookstore) It would also be better to post under General Questions II (under infidelity), as your posts will get many more responses there...

Mr. & Mrs. Wondering

"Just a cool chick" - what an idiot.

Your husband isn't married to you. He isn't wedded to you. You may be young, too young to be married, but you are not wrong in what you see, nor are you immature. Wedding vows traditionally include the "foresaking all others" in them. He's already fraying that one.

"Talking to a cool chick" is something done before you settle down and make a commitment. Oh, and if your MC thinks that nobody in a marriage meets all of their partner's needs, and sees that as justification for flirting with cool chicks, I don't think that MC can help you and your husband.

You've only been married 6 months. Please don't get pregnant. I've been married 18 years, just started divorce proceedings after my H's EA which lasted more than 1/2 of our marriage. Things didn't improve with counseling, the pain is still very hard. He got better at hiding things, moved farther away emotionally. And he was faithful up until he fell in love with the OW.

Your H is already cheating, emotionally, and hiding and sneaking. The only way you can save your marriage is to follow the Harley plan. (And lean on the MB posters.)

That said, I would dump his sorry @ss and move on with my life. There is nothing shameful about saying "I made a mistake, I learned from it, and I'm not allowing it to ruin my life." Admitting a mistake and correcting it is a sign of maturity and good judgment.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck. I feel for you.

Wonderings-

Thanks for the feedback. Boy was I hacked when I read that!

Newcarlie-

Dump the loser. He's not honest, not loving, he's broken his vows, and all of this when he should still be in "la-la land" with his new bride! Good Lord, what is this, a "7 month itch?" You didn't marry a man.

I agree with the no kids thing. That wouldn't change him a bit. So if you decide to try to stick it out with him (don't say we didn't warn you!) don't procreate until he grows all the way up.

I just want to thank all of you for your advice. My husband and I have started reading His Needs Her Needs together and are going to try to have a healty marriage. Part of me wants to give up and just leave but I feel I have put too much energy into this realtionship. I waited for him a whole year while he was serving overseas in the military, I have built my life with him and he really is a good guy. He just needs to realize that he is a married man now and he now knows that I won't put up with his actions. I have a good feeling about reading this book together. I am not sure but I think there might be a work book to go along with the book but I am having a hard time finding it. everywhere I look it is out of print. If you know anymore about this book let me know and thanks again.

Good for you...some of us understand that a faithful wife is hard to find. Best of luck.