Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1463127 08/30/05 02:31 AM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2
B
Junior Member
Junior Member
B Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2
My wife and I are both white and have been married for 7 years. Whenever we go out she flirts with black men and if they ask her to dance she always says yes.Recently we went out and she danced with 2 black men that asked her to dance and they joined us at our table. She allowed one of the men to put his ear ring in her ear. I have spoken to her about this and she says I am just being jealous. Whenever she sees a black man that she knows she always gives him a hug and a kiss. Am I being jealous or am I right in my concerns?
Am I being jealous
multiple choice, up to 2 choices
Votes accepted starting: 08/30/05 02:30 AM

billcole #1463128 08/30/05 05:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,455
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,455
What exactly are your concerns?

billcole #1463129 08/30/05 06:41 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
Whether the other men are white, black, brown, yellow, green, purple or red <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> - you have reason to feel concerned. Her behavior is very inappropriate.

Suzet* #1463130 08/30/05 08:25 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
Apparently your wife enjoys disrespecting and humiliating you. How do you think she would be reacting if the roles were reversed? Allowing her to flirt shamelessly with other men without consequences to her behavior is foolish. Why would you put up with such disrespect is beyond me. It sounds like it will be a matter of time before she does something more than just flirt. You need to set boundaries. In addition, it is hard to imagine that a wife would respect a husband who allows her to disrespect her husband in such a way. How much disrespect are you willing to endure?

billcole #1463131 08/30/05 08:14 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2
B
Junior Member
Junior Member
B Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2
It is not a matter of allowing it, let me explain, it only happens when she has been drinking and she does not kiss them on the lips it is more like a peck on the cheeck. I do feel disrespected and that is why I was wondering if there was an approach I can take with this? We had a perfect marriage up until this started happening about a year ago.

billcole #1463132 08/30/05 08:48 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 380
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 380
Obviously she is attracted to black men and is curious. It is only a matter of time when curiosity will get the better of her and she will end up in bed with one of them.


Me-BxW-(36) Him-WxH-(36) Married 9 days short of 12 years b/f D was final 5 kids-10 and younger (3 DD & 2 DS) WH filed for D 11/05 D final 05/06 ***Of course you would DIE for your kids, the question is will you LIVE for them*** ***Time heals nothing but faith heals everything***
Pepsi #1463133 08/30/05 09:55 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 72
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 72
She needs to quit drinking then, if the alcohol makes her play with the fire of marital infidelity. Maybe see if she'll get some counseling?? Good luck to you!


Veni Vidi PEACHY! [
PeachyinanSVT #1463134 08/31/05 09:24 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
Quote
It is not a matter of allowing it, let me explain, it only happens when she has been drinking and she does not kiss them on the lips it is more like a peck on the cheeck. I do feel disrespected and that is why I was wondering if there was an approach I can take with this? We had a perfect marriage up until this started happening about a year ago.

YOU have some learning to do. If you want to head off problems in your marriage before they become gigantic.

There is NO excuse for your wife's behavior, but the simplest way to avoid such behavior if you want to continue to be a Conflict Avoider is to simply NOT go to places where that sort of active CAN happen. Need a drink, go to a restaurant and order a drink. But you don't do to bars and you don't go to places "set up" for the "dating life."

Bottom line, if you don't want temptation in your life (or in your wife's life), DON'T be dumb enough to put the "candy" in plain sight and DON'T go "buy" it yourself.

Last thing, you both need marital counseling because there is "trouble brewing" for your future. "Blaming" poor and despicable behavior on "drinking" is immature and foolish. It is her CHOICE, and those choices are deliberately ANTI-Marriage.

Time to act and stop allowing this situation to continue.

God bless.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 551 guests, and 86 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
litchming, scrushe, Carolina Wilson, Lokire, vivian alva
72,031 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,031
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0