My wife and I are both white and have been married for 7 years. Whenever we go out she flirts with black men and if they ask her to dance she always says yes.Recently we went out and she danced with 2 black men that asked her to dance and they joined us at our table. She allowed one of the men to put his ear ring in her ear. I have spoken to her about this and she says I am just being jealous. Whenever she sees a black man that she knows she always gives him a hug and a kiss. Am I being jealous or am I right in my concerns?

Am I being jealous multiple choice, up to 2 choices
	No
	Yes
Votes accepted starting: 08/30/05 02:30 AM
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What exactly are your concerns?

Whether the other men are white, black, brown, yellow, green, purple or red <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> - you have reason to feel concerned. Her behavior is very inappropriate.

Apparently your wife enjoys disrespecting and humiliating you. How do you think she would be reacting if the roles were reversed? Allowing her to flirt shamelessly with other men without consequences to her behavior is foolish. Why would you put up with such disrespect is beyond me. It sounds like it will be a matter of time before she does something more than just flirt. You need to set boundaries. In addition, it is hard to imagine that a wife would respect a husband who allows her to disrespect her husband in such a way. How much disrespect are you willing to endure?

It is not a matter of allowing it, let me explain, it only happens when she has been drinking and she does not kiss them on the lips it is more like a peck on the cheeck. I do feel disrespected and that is why I was wondering if there was an approach I can take with this? We had a perfect marriage up until this started happening about a year ago.

Obviously she is attracted to black men and is curious. It is only a matter of time when curiosity will get the better of her and she will end up in bed with one of them.

She needs to quit drinking then, if the alcohol makes her play with the fire of marital infidelity. Maybe see if she'll get some counseling?? Good luck to you!

YOU have some learning to do. If you want to head off problems in your marriage before they become gigantic.

There is NO excuse for your wife's behavior, but the simplest way to avoid such behavior if you want to continue to be a Conflict Avoider is to simply NOT go to places where that sort of active CAN happen. Need a drink, go to a restaurant and order a drink. But you don't do to bars and you don't go to places "set up" for the "dating life."

Bottom line, if you don't want temptation in your life (or in your wife's life), DON'T be dumb enough to put the "candy" in plain sight and DON'T go "buy" it yourself.

Last thing, you both need marital counseling because there is "trouble brewing" for your future. "Blaming" poor and despicable behavior on "drinking" is immature and foolish. It is her CHOICE, and those choices are deliberately ANTI-Marriage.

Time to act and stop allowing this situation to continue.

God bless.