Hey WST! I have been thinking about and wondering how you were.
You're sweet, and I'm fine <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
At this point since my H signed the BC I have to accept that legally that child is his.
Legally, sure... Still might not be his, though.
My H told me he looks just like our DS looked at that age. Yeah, like I needed to hear that!
Nice <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> What a jerk. Still proves nothing. I would insist on a DNA test.
I am sorry about your mom. My mom is still m'd to OM and has been for over 25 years. She made her bed cuz he is one weird dude and I think has pretty much ruined her life except financially. Since my F did not provide financial security very well I guess this must have been her top EN.
Mom was m'd to OM for 18 years until he croaked a few years ago. My F was much better off financially, but the OM locked into my mom's religious fervor and played her like a fiddle.
I don't hate my mother any more. I don't think I ever did but I was angry and deeply hurt. Every one of the 4 of us are still wounded from it.
I guess I don't really hate her. I came to grips with it a few years back when I realized that she herself was just a wounded child. Her parents were emotionally absent, apparently. It's just the new revelation about a previous affair, and I cannot 'resolve' it with her now as she is 'gone' mentally. I need to transfer the forgiveness from the last affair to the one I just found out about.
Imagine how horrified I am at myself that I started down the same path. Only by the grace of God did I not leave my family for OM.
Yes. You realized your mistake, and have done everything possible to fix it.
I think my failed marriage was an attempt to find someone like my mother and 'fix' whatever went wrong in my childhood. My xWW followed the script perfectly <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
I am glad you had a wonderful father. I do too, though at the time of their D he was emotionally absent and dealing with his own pain. I had no real parents when I was a teenager.
{{{FF}}} My father is a saint. The greatest man in the world. He did not say *ONE* bad word about my mother (until very recently <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />). I only now understand the strength that must have taken. He just sucked it up and carried on. He got custody of us - unusual in those days, I suppose. I don't know all the details, but I guarantee he insisted on custody - protecting us from a flakey mother and a slimy OM.
I think in your case that your DD needs a strong male role model now. Do you have a brother (or maybe your father) who can fill this role for her for now?
I know that my mother leaving *still* causes me problems, and that little girls who lose (or lose respect for) their fathers often begin a life-long quest to re-capture what they lost. (I know - I seem to attract girls with 'daddy' issues.) IC for her is a must, as you know.
Having met you and her, I believe you and your DD will be fine. You are doing your absolute best, and she is a truly delightful child. Both kids are in good hands, and so are you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
All the best!
J
