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I guess if you put it that way...
You are right..I dont want to deal w/ his anger but I dont want a divorce either and I am sick and tired of living a lie..going around smiling, not saying anything bad about him..hearing people say what a "good" H he is...ugghh Just consider this: his anger will blow over, a divorce will not. How will you explain this to your children, jh? "I did not save your family because I was too scared your father would be mad at me." Because that will be the truth if you continue to do nothing.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am speachless..I dont know what else to say or how to respond..you definately make alot of sense, I cant deny that.
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jh, when you are ready to save your marriage, let us know and we can help you strategize the best plan and support you through it. Just know that we were all afraid, too, so you won't be alone. We have been there.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I hate it when you put it that way .. "when you are ready to save your marriage" you have a way of putting me in my place and doing a reality check...thank you
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I hate it when you put it that way .. "when you are ready to save your marriage" you have a way of putting me in my place and doing a reality check...thank you I am on your side. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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for some stupid reason just reading that "I am on your side" filled my eyes w/ tears and got a huge lump in my throat...how pathetic is that?
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Thank you for being so kind
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H called to say after his AA mtg. this afternoon he was going to go golfing w/ Joe from work...when I went out for lunch just now I noticed that OW car was gone from parking lot, which means she has taken 1/2 day off from work (police officers never leave station unless it is for the day) .. I have a suspicion that she too may be going..should I ask him right out or just try and do my own detective work?
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Well, you can continue this cr*p, or you can EXPOSE. If you decide not to expose, invest in a GPS to put into his car. That will save lots of running around and gas money. I spent hundreds trying to figure out where OW and WH were meeting. It was all very stressful, especially all of his lies. A GPS would be a great investment.
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well I dont run around spying on him..we work in the same bldg. so I see him frequently throughout the day, if he isnt home he is at an AA meeting (supposidly anyway) other than that, he doesnt go anywhere else...he has very few male friends. All his "friends" he had before were drinking buddies whom he no longer associates very often w/ because he doesnt want to be around the alcohol..so today a co-worker asked him to go golfing
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Can you find out where he and the OW are?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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so that is what he uses for an excuse ... because SHE is the only friend he has anymore
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sorry these posts are all over the place..trying to work and chat at the same time..hunters keep coming in for their licenses and had to issue a marriage license
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Can you find out where they are?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I know what golf course he is at but not sure how to find out where she is (if they are together) I just know that she left work early today. I have no reason (ok I do) to think they are together..but my "gut" says something is up.
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Maybe at her house. Do you know where she lives?
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yeah.. I know where she lives, her phone #, her cell #, etc... she lives just a few blocks from work
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You might want to drive by there on your break.
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Of course, if you EXPOSED the affair, you could save yourself all of this grief.
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Does she play golf? Can you call out there and ask if she is playing with your H? Tell them you are calling from the PD and are trying to locate her and you think she might be playing with XYZ [your H] but want to make sure so you can sign her out for the day.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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