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Sounds very good so far. You are doing well.
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I am glad you think so...I am getting better at knowing that I need to think of myself and do what's best for me but I have to tell you that I am really considering telling him that he can have his separation.
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Yes, you can move to Plan B soon. But right now I would stick with Plan A. I think you need to get a little stronger, and hopefully can expose the affair at work.
But you are doing well. At least you are not LB'ing, and are getting counseling. That will only help.
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I told him the other day that he has the best of both worlds and the sad thing about it is that I am the one giving it to him..
I forgot to tell you that my H had to have an outpatient procedure at the hospital so I took the day off to be w/ him..OW called my F#$%ing home and asked to speak to him..can you even believe the nerve she has?
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She has a lot of nerve. But they both know that you are willing to keep their secret. I'm counting on the anti-D's helping you to start standing up for your marriage and family.
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Any suggestions as to what I can do? Next Tuesday is our Anniversary. I dont want to push going to dinner or anything like that but I dont want to ignore the day either...I know I cant LB right now and I know that he knows I love him but how can I just let the day go by w/out doing or saying anything to him?
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I don't know. I would try planning something that he likes to do. I wouldn't get all romantic or talk about the relationship, but just let him know that you have enjoyed being married to him.
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Maybe a short poem or something?
Should I tell him that I love him? We havent spoken those words in about 3 months. I know he knows it but it will be our anniversary. I probably shouldnt,huh?
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I wouldn't tell him you love him. He won't want to hear that. Maybe you can think of some things you admire about him. Men usually love that. You can say you like his big strong muscles, the kind of cop he is, what a good father he is, how well he cooks, drives, hunts, whatever.
On my last anniversary with my husband (I knew there were problems, just not exactly what), I joked with him about what a good job we did staying married ten years.
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What exactly did you do when SHE called your house????
I damn sure hope you hung up on her stupid a$$.
Please don't tell me you handed over the phone to him.....
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Lexxy...you are going to be soooooo MAD!!1
I didnt hang up..I was so in shock that she called I didnt know what to do..I just sighed and slammed the phone in his hand.
Afterwards I thought of so many things I could have done..asked if it were work related, hung up, told her not to call my home again, but I didnt...why, didnt I? I was and still am so disgusted w/ myself for doing that.
I know it wasnt work related, she called to see how he made out w/ his procedure at the hospital..I could have told her it was none of her business, etc.....UGGGHHHHH !!!!
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OMG!
You are soooo right! I am steaming!
Stop "nicing" your way out of this marriage!!!
When are you going to start fighting for yourself???
Did you ever think maybe he wants you to want him so bad that you will fight for him?
SHE IS YOUR ENEMY. not your friend. not your families friend. She is the EVIL that is out to destroy everything you love.
Do not let the ENEMY invade your territory.
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I am starting to see through all of my own FOG .. I know that I was so wrong for handing him the phone..I hated myself for doing that, how stupid was I? It's like saying, "here honey your girlfriend is on the phone and is really worried about you, please talk to her". UGGHHH... that will NEVER happen again.
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Maybe you need to mention to your husband that it is NOT OK to disrespect you in your own home.
He needs to keep his dirty little affair out of your sanctuary.
Aren't you angry? Anger would be an appropriate emotion to have. I'm wondering where yours is....
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I am angry but Anger is not something I express very well, I dont know why. When I get upset or angry all I do is cry. I want more than anything to just tell her off but I know I would just start crying. I am so emotionally unstable. I hate that about myself.
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jh, do you have depression issues?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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started taking anti-depressents last Monday and I made an appt to see a counselor thursday @2
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How long have you been depressed?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well I thought it was only since the 2nd d-day but thinking back it has probably been since the 1st d-day 2/14/03.
I thought that I could deal w/ this on my own but I noticed that I had gotten worse. More easily agitated, cant sleep, alot of anxiety, cant stand chaos in the house, etc.
Nice to hear from you ML..thought you had given up on me.
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You need to have a plan of ACTION.
Whats your plan?
Doesn't that appeal to you? To be pro-active....to know what steps you're going to make next....to actively protect your family.....to fight against the evil trying to tear apart your family....
You've been so darn passive. I can hardly fathom what would make you angry. Seems like they can do whatever they want and nothing will push your buttons. I really think your husband must think you don't give a darn.
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