I hate to use WW to describe my W. She had a very short EA with someone I know. There has been NC. We are going to our first MC session on Friday. I am doing my best to not use LB's and I am filling her EN's.

I wonder if I am doing the right thing in letting her go away for a long weekend. I know everyone who she is going with. She is going with her boss, his wife and two other friends. I didn't want to LB her and not let her go. I feel she needs some time away from the house to relax. She stays home all day with our four children and she also baby sits a few other people's children. As you can imagine her stress level is high through the day. I go away from time-to-time on business trips and she stays home with the children. This is a chance for her to get away.

What do you think? Am I doing the right thing?

Should I let WW go for the weekend? multiple choice, up to 2 choices
	No
	Yes
Votes accepted starting: 08/31/05 09:27 AM You must vote before you can view the results of this poll.

Why can't you go?

We need more information. I never liked the "permission" thing. If her going away causes you angst, if it causes you to not trust her then I say maybe she shoudl stay home.

My XW and I in recovery and reconciled established boundries and one of mine is no work related travel. Her company has a huge "conference" in a few weeks....it doesn't matter..her work related affairs cause my stress. If she were to go I would go crazy..and eventually LB...cause these are oppurtunities for contact...

so...it really is something for you to decide. Perhaps you an dher should do something together, why is she getting "away" with others?

The reason I can't go is because we can't find anyone to watch our four children for five days.

Her boss offered her an all expense paid trip to a NASCAR race. My W tried to get me a ticket... none available. We are doing more together. We went out for dinner last night... just the two of us. That was the first time in months in which just the two of us had gotten away.

The thing about her going away is not causing me angst. I was asking the question in context of the tips given on this site. I want her to go but in reading the material on this site I get the feeling I should not. I'm just wondering what I should do.

If you're serious about looking for a ticket to a NASCAR race I can most likely get you them. I am a NASCAR columnist and photographer. Send me an e-mail coombse.geo AT yahoo...

I think that you should go...

I'm confused, does she work or is she a SAHM?

She's a Stay At Home Mom who also baby sits other children. She also works at night as a waitress in a local bar. The manager is a mutual friend.

Now i'm confused...

Who is her "boss" ?

Why is she going if it is not work related?

If she doesn't see that this could overstep some boundaries you at least have to tell her how you feel. Maybe not "give her permission to go or not to go" but tell her how you feel and will feel when she leaves.

Sorry, it sounds pretty fishy to me. JMO

#8 Rules.....And you can quote me on that.....

While the obvious best solution is for you to find a way to go, I understand that the planets may not be aligned to make that happen.

That being said, keep in mind where you are sending her. You are sending her to a place where there are going to be over 100,000 drunk red necks partying it up. You are sending her there with other people whom she may feel obligated to occompany if they go out. If she's a drinker, SHE WILL DRINK.... If she's not a heavy drinker she may drink. Are you OK with all of that?

If the people she goes with decide to go clubbing till 2am in the morning, she may go with them either because she wants to or because she feels obligated to be with them since they are footing the bill. Again, are you OK with that?

IMHO y'all need to talk very long and hard about what boundaries will be in place over this trip. Because, honestly, for this to have any type of positive influence on y'all then y'all need to totally be on the same sheet of music. And truly, be prepared for what I've described. I've been to a couple of those little circle tracks, heck I was in Taledega a couple years back. One of probably 150,000 red necks partying it up..... Make sure you set your expectiations with the reality of the situation where you are sending her and whom you are sending her with.

Ohhhhhh yeah and #8 RULES......... And we need a rules change in NASCAR to put my man in the Chase..... That just ain't right y'all.......

Sounds fishy to me, too. If it were my spouse, I'd explain to them how the trip makes me feel, and why I think it's a better idea for them to stay home. If they can't understand that, maybe I'd rethink things - why I let them treat me like that, and undermine our marriage for one thing.

Good luck with this...

nothing to add here but just a comment for some light-heartedness(?)

RUSTY RULES !!!

I also do a lot of work for the former wonderboy and his organization. #24..they're all pretty good guys....My favorite died in 1993...Davey was awesome...

The more I think about it the less I like....

one of the biggest issues my XW and I had was my "hobby" of covering NASCAR. Her perception was I was running aorund the tracks drunk and my pants around my ankles...I have been able to get her down there with me and reality was quite different. She watched me on the fence this weekend at Bristol..she had our boys..when the #11 Busch car blew a tire and tagged the wall that photographer getting "out" of the way was me....

So you do a lot of work for the 24.... Divide that by my favorite current driver, the 8, and what do you get.... Yep that's right THE MAN, The One The Only Intimidator.... Ohhh for those of you who can't do the math, the answer is #3....... I had a buddy that brought back a picture he took of Senior at the 24hrs of Daytona a couple weeks before his death....

Send, the organizations and professional members such as yourself aren't necessarily the issue here. They and y'all do a wonderful job and no y'all ain't running around with your britches half down...... That being said, a lot of that goes on at these events by us typical spectators. I've only had the pleasure of Darlington and Taledega, now at the time I was about as wild as they come, and let me tell you boy I fit right in......

I will say the part that concerns me the most about this whole thing is who she is going with. They're fitting the bill and they wanna party there is gonna be some partying going on. Did you say they were bar owners? I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, but the thing overall sounds like a stretch to me......

Bill,
Drop me a line at that e-mail address so we're not thread jacking...

I agree with your assessement. In fact, I and my XW just decided that our boys are too young and "impressionable" to got to teh races any more. Too many drunkards acting in ways I do not want my boys to see. I have had some wild times but not once did it involve other women.

If sh eneeds to get away take her somewhere. There is much more here than meets the eye, can't find as ticket? Need to "get away"...we all need to get away....Is this guy she had an EA going to be there? Does he go to NASCAR races?

No, the OM is not going to be there.

There will be a friend of ours going who is very protective of her. They work together and I know for a fact that they are not having an A. I know he will make sure she is safe and out of trouble. The guy is 6 foot and 350lbs. That is one reason I feel confident in letting her go.

I don't want to seem greedy because I may have to go somewhere for work or with friends at any time.

Plus I have photographer friends there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />