As you all know, my dad passed away last November. My mom is still having such a hard time with it...She hasn't gotten rid of anything of my dad's, which I dont expect her to, however I believe that she is not taking the appropriate steps to move forward...

I was just wondering if anyone knows of an online support forum that she can get help from...or any good books...she said she is reading one right now, but it is only making her worse!

I know each person grieves differently, but what is a reasonable time frame to at least start to move forward after the death of a spouse?

on a side note, one of her friends' H's passed away in June and she has gotten rid of all his stuff and his car...

It took my best friend approx 7 months to get rid of her son's stuff...I just dont know what to tell her...I really feel she should be taking SOME sort of steps to close this chapter of her life...

Thanks!

Mom,

Can she physically attend some type of grief support group?

I know my father attends one with his church. They meet monthly and it has really helped him - but he wasn't ready for it during the 1st year after the loss of my mother.

The holidays will be tough for her as well, but you already know that.

With my father, we gave him at least 1 year before we gently tried to nudge him along. It's been 23 years since she died, and he still struggles. In fact his 50th wedding anniversary would have been in a few days, and I know he feels his loss even more strongly.

Mom -

Try to get the Grief Recovery Handbook for her. It is absolutely GREAT!

Thanks for the replies! She used to attend a grieving support group, but she stopped going because she felt it was holding her back...all the woman just cried all the time...I dont know what to do with her...she is a mess...She cries all the time...understandable, but I think she believes he is coming back or something...I call her everyday...but it sometimes only makes it worse...**SIGH**

Mom,

This may sound canned, but it worked for my dad.

He started doing alot of volunteer work. It got him out of the house and helped him realize others were worse off than he was.

And no matter how bad you feel, it is somehow comforting to know others are suffering worse in a sense. It can give you a level of wellbeing.

You may have to go with her a few times to get her started. But church, Habitat For Humanity, mentoring for children, volunteering in schools to help with reading/literacy - there are so many needy groups out there that could use your mom's love and support.

I volunteered at an emergency crisis shelter for children for a few years. They were desperate for volunteers - especially experienced grandmother types who would be willing to rock babies to sleep that had been removed from their homes until temporary foster homes could be arranged.

Anyone else have any ideas for other worthwhile volunteer groups?