well, did not get a call from air national guard IG... they turned the case over to my h's Lt. Kernel. Very nice man. He called me and said since h is only part time military and basically a "volunteer" and mostly under civilian status (inactive) and only active duty one weekend a month, 2 weeks a year and any time he has any training, he cannot be treated the same way a full time active duty member would be. However, he told me he empathizes with my situation as he has been through something similar and that he himself is a strong family man.

He said all he can do is have a conversation with H and basically tell him stop this behaviour until he has a divorce. HE CANNOT GIVE HIM A DIRECT ORDER TO DO SO. There will be no testifying under oath. He will tell him that they want to see proof he is actively seeking a divorce or they are going to deny him being able to go to Iraq in January and I imagine if he was left behind due to this it would not look good for him. He told me he does not condone or tolerate his behaviour and that is brings down morale. As he put it he doesn't need this nonsense going on when they are over in Iraq and he is not playing games with any of the men. that if my h cannot do the right thing and get his act together he will not be going to iraq. (not sure how h will respond to that cuz he is scared to go to war and maybe this will be his out. but i don't think he wants to not go because his life is a mess and they don't want him to go, ya know what i mean??)

Lt. Kernel also said he will make sure me and the kids are taken care of financially while h is in iraq. he can have h's paycheck sent directly to me. (h will just love that one) as long as we are still legally married when he goes over he said he can do this. He will not tolerate any of his men not taking financial care of their families.

that is where we are at. he didn't need any of my "proof" although I am faxing him my statement and ow's h's statement just to give them more background. they will call h next week and talk to him then. he sounded like fair and firm.
I guess it is better then nothing and if nothing else it exposes him to them and shows them what his character is and they were not too impressed. H is gonna be mad but that is the chance I take. it will force him to take the action he should have taken a long time ago: see a lawyer and pay for a divorce instead of me having to do it.

I will let you know how it turns out. They said they would call me after they speak with him. I am sure my h is going to lie to them about some things and try to make himself look better but how can you look good after what he has done? and LT. Kernel says he will know if h is lying after waht I have told him and he will not be happy if he lies.

mlhb

BUMP! :-)

I'm not sure that your LT Col's response makes complete sense. I might be mistaken, but I was absolutely under the impression that Nat. Gaurd/Reserve is treated EXACTLY like the full-time when they're deployed.

In other words, the LT. Col CAN order your H to end the A, at least while they're deployed. He CAN take action against your H for numerous articles under UCMJ if he continues the affair, especially once given a direct order to end it.

MM, what's your take on this?

you are right. but he is not currently deployed. right now he is not active duty, he is civilian status. once in iraq in january he will be active again and can be treated exactly like anyone else. the LT. is going to make sure my h understands that if he does not get his act together before iraq it will be much worse for him once he is active duty. mlhb

bumped for mortar

Hey...sorry I missed your post.

This answer is the standard answer of Guard and Reserve commanders. That they cannot do anything about the troops when they are not on duty. That is not true. That is why I had you contact the IG.

The LTC said he would do those things, and I am quite sure he will. And that might be enough to take care of things with your husband, as he will lose out on this deployment.

The LTC sounds like he will take care of business with your husband, and will definitely read him the riot act. After reading your post, I have no doubt about that. But I kinda expected him to say that there isnt anything he can do when they are off-duty, which is why I said go to the IG. The IG is now monitoring what the LTC does.

With that, my recommendation is to see what the LTC's deal does to your husband. Maybe getting called in and threatened with the loss of the deployment (and yes that hurts his career), it might be enough to tip the scales.

If not, then you can go back to the IG and say that while you thought the LTC did try to do something, that you are not satisfied with everything that was done and that you believe that regulations do cover airmen when they are off-duty (and if we reach this point, I can help you get the info for that. This is no different than a soldier doing drugs off-duty, homosexual conduct off-duty, etc.).

So, my call I guess is to let the LTC rip him a new one and see how that changes things. If it straightens his butt up, then there will be no need to go further. If not, then you can go back to the IG and I will help you draw up the list of regulations, etc that will outline why your husband is still under the UCMJ and under Air Force regulations, even when off-duty.

In His arms.

thanks mortor.... will keep you updated.... mlhb