Here is a question for the vets.

What makes a recovery easier? Busting the affair and forcing NC via exposure or implementing Plan B and the WS willingly establishes NC to save the marriage?

Where have you exposed so far ?

Both.

Exposure 1st.
Plan B 2nd.

Remember plan B is implemented as a defense mechanism to protect the BS and family. Exposure is also a defensive tactic but it is the attack to destroy the A.

These are 2 totally different tactics. Can't compare between these 2.

L.

Bob,

OWH and the personnel boss at WH's work (he and his wife are good friends with us) exposed the affair to me, but WH denied it and I believed him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> After D-Day i talked to OWH again by which time he had taken on a girlfriend and is glad not to have to hide it. He and Skunkypoo have decided to stay together superficially for the kids, but to both have lovers on the side. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

The kids already knew about it, they were used as camoflage for the A several times. After D-Day I forbid contact between OW and my children ... a boundary that has not since been broken. WH and Skunkypoo know that I will be merciless and fierce in protecting my children.

After D-Day I told WH's family, my family, our closest friends. We live in a small village ... news travels fast. It seems I was the last to know.

I didn't think about exposing further at WH's work since the personell boss already knew. I thought he would be in charge of a transfer.

It didn't occur to me until a month ago to expose to the top boss.

I haven't exposed to Skunkypoo's family ... I assume they already know. Skunkypoo's sister sleeps with her H occasionally. Her mother would be thrilled to have my WH as a son-in-law and is probably already firing the flame. Skunkypoo's family is trash I don't want to waste my time on.

Where do you get your information from regarding OWs family and marriage?

If OW and OWH are still married there must be SOME bond between them. I think it is a mistake to not expose to OWH.

OWH was the one that exposed to me, Bob.

I've let him know just a month ago when I caught my WH out on the town with his WW again. He said He didn't really care, he was busy sleeping with his own girlfriend at the time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

So OWH knows, your village knows and their work knows. Who else would you expose to ?

I guess that I have left out our village priest.

That could possibly be a good one. He married my H and I and baptised my youngest for whom OW is/was the Godmother btw. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I just got back from my appointment with our priest. He knows our family well. D10 is an altar girl, and so is OW's D11.

Our priest is a soft spoken teddy bear of a man with rosy cheeks ... kind of like Santa Claus, I suppose. He will pay WH a visit tonight. This is the first time I wish we still had our old priest ... the fire and brimstone type guy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />