My original post is in JUST FOUND OUT>Why God Why.

Quick recap:

I met her in the Philippines while doing missionary work (She is native Filipina)
Were together for 2 and a half years before getting married. Things were great.
Got married two and a half years ago. (total 5 years together). I thought things were good.
We moved to Korea two years ago where I teach.
Got a visitor visa to Canada for her to come and meet my family and friends in person last September. Was great. Everyone loved her and she them.
She went to Philippines a month later to visit family and returned a month after that.
Continues papers to sponsor her to come to Canada and was accepted a couple of months ago.
6 weeks ago she got word her grandmother was dying so she went to the Philippines.
A week later I get a phone bill to an unfamiliar number in the Philippines. I call it and the guy tells me he has been her internet “boyfriend for 6 months.
Turns out grandma was not sick. She went to be with him.
I go to the Philippines and meet boyfriend who tells me she had lied to him that she was living alone because her ex husband used to beat her.
He comes with me to confront her family and expose. He breaks up with her and tells her to go back to her husband.
I also find out she had a previous A the first time she went to Philippines.
She wants nothing to do with me and says she not only doesn’t love me anymore, but does not even like my personality. How could I have been so oblivious??
I tell her I will go back to Korea to finish my contract (5 more weeks) and then return to visit. I tell her I still lover her and want her to come to Canada with me to start again and work things out.
A couple of weeks ago I find out the boyfriend and her are still together and completely attached like a couple of high school lovebirds. They claim they are in love and have never been happier. She has not responded to any of the emails (about 8) I sent her over the 5 weeks we have been apart. It’s so painful that she just ignores me like a stranger.

Tomorrow I head back to the Philippines to face whatever is there to face. The big problem is that ww visa to come to Canada will expire in 4 months – not much time to plan A and for the A to end. Looks like I’m screwed big time. I love her so much (wish I was one of those people who doesn’t love after D day). But my chances of winning her back before visa expires are probably slim to none. This has been the most painful trial of my life and I have a feeling it’s gonna get worse.

Really all I’m asking for is for people to pray for a miracle because I really need one. Please give me any advice or opinions you might have. Right now I’m on an emotional rollercoaster. I have had some serious fantasies about killing OM. I could probably get away with it in the Philippines by bribing the right people if caught. And sometimes I could care less if I get caught. With luck I’ll get shot dead. I probably wouldn’t follow through with such evil plans, but right now I’m not sure what I could do if I were to run into him in person.

Please just pray for me to handle myself the way God would want. Please pray for A to end. Please pray for W to soften her heart to listen to God’s commands not to commit adultery. I can’t believe my life has changed so drastically overnight.

Mike

nobody;s sitation is ever just right for teh BS to plan A. An dwhen hey are the BS falls over or gets shingles or sump'n. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You have a MAN'S job ahead of you, I won;r deny that,but if you'd study, you'd see that busted affairs almost never last long and marriages grown out of them are rare and hugelky unsuccessful.

However messy life is NOW you will likely get the chance to work at your marriage again.

You need to study because study is your power now. Read Surviving an affair AT LEAST and compare the tenetts within against examples on these boards.

If you can't see your WW to plan A her, then a DARK plan B might actually work.

Nothing you can do can lose her MORE Mike. Do not let fear of losing her influence your decisions.

What would you do next if you were not afraid ?

BTW you are always in the debt of some pretty shady people if you use others to offer remote violence to someone. Unless you are inside that sort of thug life yourself, it is always best not to do that. Don't ask me how I know.

All blessings

Hi Sad Mike,

I've been following your story and am so sorry your life has been shaken like this. This must be one incredible lady for you to still want her after all of this.....something to think about. As far as killing the om, That would probably make you feel better for maybe a minute or 2, but if you think you're in bad shape now, that would make this seem like a cakewalk. God can sort all of this out and it may not work the way you want, but He really does know best and has the perfect plan in mind. The ONLY thing you can reasonably do is stay in prayer, take a lot of deep breaths and walk as close to God as you can every second because you're very vulnerable right now. Losing your temper, hurting yourself, begging her, none of those things will help. Be the grown up in this entire mess. If anyone can unscramble eggs, it's our awesome God, so hand Him the spatula and watch Him work. You're in my prayers. The pain is just part of this and it's there for a reason, we just don't see in full yet and that's where trust comes in. You can do this!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have read your story on your other posts. I have to be honest, I see this woman as being poison to you in the long run. You might want to cut your losses and move on. Get into therapy, seek AD's ( I never agree with these but you sound like you are on the verge of doing something you will regret ). Take a deep breath and look around...I am sure there are many things you can be thankfull for. I also know that there is someone out in this world that will love, honor and respect you.

Sadmike,
Does that mean that YOU have 4 months to stay there in the Phillipines? Or do you have to go elsewhere?

(((((((sadmike))))))))
My prayers are with you.

Sadmike,

Gotta make this quick, but you are still in my prayers, and please don't do anything you shouldn't. I think most of us BS's have been tempted to at least fantasize about the demise of the OP, but without your seemingly good opportunity to get away with it. Just don't sink to their level.

I'm sure you will receive expert advice very soon, and aussie and some of the others have already spoken with remarkable insight, but take comfort in that your WW is saying and doing everything right out of the book. It doesn't make any difference whether it's the Phillippines, Korea, Canada, or Siberia - they all talk and act the same. It is too soon to tell what will happen, but if you listen to and follow the advice of the good folks here it will be your best chance to bring your wife out of this. Even if not, you will still be ok.

Continuing in prayer,
Neak