Hi Tdr,
Thanks for your reply. I have not yet tried to get utilities in just my name but I will do that. I feel really good about the D filing happening here Fri(9/9). This way I know when I start getting child and spousal support that the bills will get paid and I won't have to worry about asking him for anything. I think this will also bring him into reality or maybe I am just kidding myself.

In the last 3 months, I have been cutting the grass, grilling, filling the water softener with salt, getting the oil changed and other things that he was normally responsible for around the house, I am sure he is wondering if this stuff has been taken care of. I have been really proud of myself thus far. Now I need to get the financial stuff in place but like I said it is in the works.

Just sitting here thinking about something that really baffles me. My WH and I have been separated for about 3 1/2 months. Here is my problem, he never takes the kids to his apartment-NEVER, they have no idea that he has his own place, when they ask him where is is going he just says he's got to go. I know for sure that OW doesn't live there so why can't he take the kids there. He always spend time with them over his parents house-which I feel like they are enabling him. Sometimes I just want to take the kids over there, knock on the door, and when he answers leave them with him. Can anyone shed any light on this b/c I just don't get it. Maybe it is the guilt he feels there since he bangs OW there or maybe he doesn't want the kids to know b/c he planning on returning home. I just don't know, has anyone else ever experience this before. Oh when I asked him for his full address(I know it, I just am trying to bait him) so I can put it on the kids school records he says to use his parents address. His mail (bank statements and all) goes to his PO Box(which I think he forgot that I have a key-DUH. He is in the process of trying to get a new car and uses my address the at the house-what is up with that.

La

You are doing great.

Tdr

Oh great! Just got a call from my kids school. My WH's absence and his lack of involvement with our kids is starting to take a toll on them. My oldest DD(9) is starting to become violent toward other kids. She pushed a girl out of the seat on the bus b/c the girl would not move so DD could sit with her friend. What do I do? The school said they contacted WH first b/c they could not get ahold of me(of course not b/c WH did not pay the bill and the phone was cut of last week). WH gave them my cell number(which they had) and he told them to call me since I will have them tonight. It pisses me off that he said that b/c I have them every freaking night and he has them absolutely no nights not even during the day. Is he fooling himself and others into thinking that he is involved with his kids when he is NOT? I have the mind to break Plan B now and call him to give him a piece of my mind. Please some encouragement here so I don't do that b/c I am so angry right now. But I am glad that they called him maybe now he can see that his actions are starting to affect the kids the most. I hope that he is not too much in the fog where he can't see that.

La

I am in a pretty bad place now too! So I may not be much help and plus I am too much of a chicken to Plan B so take or leave what I have to say.

Don't break plan B that is just what he wants you to do. I know that my DS(7) school has a special group held once a week for children of Divorce or Separation. Maybe it is worth looking into.

Change your post heading so that more Plan B experts can help you.

I am alone too -- My WH became an uninvolved parent when he started his affair (I think) -- that is when he had her come babysit and say how great she is with our kids -- she filled in for him. When I found out that stopped of course. Now he shows up stays for a few days -- mainly just adding another person in my family competing for my attention.

Sometimes I would love some help from him--like now --they are driving me crazy and all I want to do is go to bed and cry again over my situation.

Tdr